Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
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Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
"The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching."
NessieMonster188 17
The sweet smell of karma! Oh wait..
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Comments (117)
asdfghjklmoo 15
Your life sucks but you deserved it.
lambda_fml 40
Played it safe there. FYL But YDI.
ViviMage 39
People should clean up after their pets.... For this reason if not some other poor sap.
xLIGHTS_fml 23
Looks like karma couldn't handle your shit. Or in this case, your dog's shit.
buddy51 23
And that, boys and girls, is what we call poetic justice.... OP, wash the crap from between your toes and learn your lesson- pick up after yourself and your dog or else count on more excremental educations like this one!!! YDI so very much!!!
cieloalicia 16
Don't spit into the wind. Or shit onto the sidewalk apparently
Kimmy7823 6
Sorry OP but clean that shit up!
bluehero 17
So gross. Guess you should've picked it up, too nasty for me to pick it up either! Lol
kieralumina 30
if its too gross for you to pick up, then you shouldn't have a dog. op has a dog, and should therefore know that they need to bring bags to pick their dog's crap up.
TwoOneFive 11
What a shitty situation. You must feel pretty shitty for not picking it up.
Nilorak 24
She did pick it up, but with her shoe!
Sandsh8rk 36
Are you purposely trying to get yourself thumbed down?
TwoOneFive 11
Of course :)
lenamartinovic 13
You walked right in on that.
vbmg152 18
Karma! You so deserve it!!