Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
"The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching."
NessieMonster188 17
The sweet smell of karma! Oh wait..
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Comments (117)
_1296 10
Well you walked right into that one.
DocQuack 3
Confucius says He who ***** on road meets flies upon his return.
iamthunder 4
K-A-R-M-A-!
tararochelle 18
I hope you knew when you were typing this FML, that most people would say you deserve it! Not saying we all don't deserve some of the "karma" we get. But, you did deserve it lol.
duckit 0
Take a poop bag with you when you walk your dog, how difficult is that?
EsOSiQueEs 14
Dang could you ha put any more commas in that FML? The voice in my head got annoyed.
vixsin 22
serves you right for not doing your duty.
stoych 19
You lazy ****. You deserve this. 1. For being so damn lazy 2. For giving decent dog owners who actually DO clean up after their dog a bad name. I would have felt justice would be served more if you had tripped and fallen face first into it.
JoeCookieRaider 5
Karma is a bitch.
Czech_Zidane 14
YDI. You flush at home, right? So WHY THE F... do you not clean up after your dog? You should fall into it face first next time.