By Anonymous - 20/5/2020 08:00

Jealousy

Today, my girlfriend broke my Xbox while I was playing Warzone. She said she heard me playing with another girl, and accused me of cheating. It was just the A.I. saying, "Copy, I’m on it." Anyone selling an Xbox One? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1784

You deserved it

202

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Messed up

Drinking is bad for you, most of the time

Added flavor

By Anon.

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38250

You deserved it

2465

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By kdehshaden - United States

Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8591

You deserved it

56259

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By Emma - United Kingdom - Rawtenstall

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19657

You deserved it

5437

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10308

You deserved it

46401

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By Anonymous - Canada - Bridgewater

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21652

You deserved it

43021

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By freakfreak12345 - United States

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10620

You deserved it

74584

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By Jusawkward - United States

Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43534

You deserved it

4394

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By burnmyeyes - United States - Richmond

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44278

You deserved it

5309

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By Anonymous - Australia - Saint Marys

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11792

You deserved it

38433

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom came home and told me she was going back to college. She's going to the community college that a lot of the graduates from my school go to. She has biology with my ex. They're lab partners and have to do take home labs together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38603

You deserved it

2675

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By Username - France

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

45490

You deserved it

6607

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By barface - United States

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37743

You deserved it

2793

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By culodegrillo - Spain

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51927

You deserved it

3261

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By Anonymous - United States - Bedford

Today, I was working out and doing box jumps. My friend thought it would be funny to kick the box aside as I tried to jump onto it. Now I have 2 broken teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21281

You deserved it

1548

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33859

You deserved it

3958

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34449

You deserved it

4534

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By :/

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44179

You deserved it

17416

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By jeeperspeepers - United States

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17108

You deserved it

132603

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By "Lisa" - Romania

Today, I made out with a handsome man in the restroom at a party. There was a knock on the door, interrupting us. It was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2765

You deserved it

1340

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By Anonymous - United States - Gaffney

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43712

You deserved it

4484

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By dtack2tack - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28595

You deserved it

3790

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44259

You deserved it

4290

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By gtfb1993 - Canada

Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10655

You deserved it

42336

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30174

You deserved it

2955

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By Speedy - United Kingdom

Today, I took my driving test for the first time. The instructor stopped it after less than ten minutes, and insisted she drive back to the test centre "in the interest of public safety." FML

I agree, your life sucks

13602

You deserved it

40922

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By Anonymous - United States - Fresno

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52404

You deserved it

5749

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By why the fuck would you do that - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32445

You deserved it

3773

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/3/2020 14:00

Hmmm, nutritious!

Today, I'm in the coronavirus-vulnerable group, so I asked my friend to go shopping for me because I'm in need of food and toilet paper. They came back with a bag of icing sugar, even though food and toilet paper were available in the shop. Forty minutes later, the shelves were stripped bare. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1714

You deserved it

166

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By OfficeSlave - United States

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26875

You deserved it

3411

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By JB - United States

Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was demonstrating how well it removed stains, I managed to smear stuff over the area I was cleaning. So not only was I unsuccessful in removing the original stains, I left them with worse carpet than when I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10981

You deserved it

28592

Favorite

By Anomaly - United States - Trenton

Today, I saw a person in my class completing a project that was due two periods later and that they had just started in the bathroom. They got a better grade than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31237

You deserved it

4795

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By Anonymous

Cheater

Today, as I was finalizing my divorce with my soon to be ex-wife, she thought it would be a good idea to bring our two children to the divorce court. Before custody was put in place my ex-wife gave them both a piece of candy and promised them a trip to Disneyland they chose her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2580

You deserved it

206

Favorite

By kstaa - Australia

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29072

You deserved it

4506

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By Unknown - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple seconds later and played video games instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42748

You deserved it

6364

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I invited over 30 people to come to the park with me since the day was nice and cool. I sat there for three hours by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38290

You deserved it

5078

Favorite

By Chin... uh.... - United States - Phoenix

Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12711

You deserved it

1480

Favorite

By Bestbirthday - United States - Bastrop

Today, my parents were supposed to take me out to eat for my birthday, but since their favorite child wasn't with us, I instead got a mini order of tots from Sonic as my birthday meal/present. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15069

You deserved it

834

Favorite

By you ripped them off ages ago - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47954

You deserved it

16239

Favorite

By EyupItsLucas - 24/3/2020 13:35

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock

Today, there’s been birds nesting in my wall since mid winter. They’ve recently started scratching at the wall as if they wanted to get through. This morning, they made their entrance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1420

You deserved it

233

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Bethlehem

Today, I tried having some girl time with my mom so I could sneakily figure out what to get her for her birthday. All I could think of in the end was a time machine, after her rant about wishing she'd gotten her tubes tied rather than going through the stress of raising me and my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12913

You deserved it

930

Favorite

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Top comments

By thisisbutaname | 38

#7907490 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 8:58

You don't need another xbox, you need a new girlfriend mate

By Matthew Smith | 10

#7907526 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 12:37

That’s domestic abuse in my eyes. Get the f out of there

COMMENTS

By Jaymail | 17

#7907484 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 8:15

Check eBay.

By thisisbutaname | 38

#7907490 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 8:58

You don't need another xbox, you need a new girlfriend mate

Bamisoep | 9

#7907498 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 10:03

Ditch the crazy, as said : look for a new GF.

By alex_jaguara | 29

#7907502 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 10:23

Red flag, dude.

By Matthew Smith | 10

#7907526 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 12:37

That’s domestic abuse in my eyes. Get the f out of there

By magnumpeyote66 | 5

#7907548 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 14:54

The fact this FML didnt end with 'anyone got an xbox to trade for a girlfriend' is disappointing
DUMP
HER
CRAZY
PSYCHO
ABUSE
ASS
before she does something and YOU get arrested or stabbed. (Cause that's how these tend to go)

By Mayaaaaaaaaa | 12

#7907570 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 16:47

Your life doesn’t suck. Your girlfriend does.

By Kraths | 16

#7907571 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 16:48

I mean as an avid video game collector I always have two or three extras that I could sell. In all seriousness, the others are right it's time to find a new one

By AmbrosiaFan | 18

#7907599 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 18:24

Ex girlfriend right? Who also owes you an x box one.

By newwitch2010 | 11

#7907634 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 20:34

Quick way to replace your Xbone... dump your girlfriend and buy one with the money you’ve saved.

By Gina Marie Lombardi | 11

#7907652 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 22:40

Red Flag!!!!! Get rid of her and make her replace your Xbox