By Anonymous - 20/5/2020 08:00

Jealousy

Today, my girlfriend broke my Xbox while I was playing Warzone. She said she heard me playing with another girl, and accused me of cheating. It was just the A.I. saying, "Copy, I’m on it." Anyone selling an Xbox One? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1673

You deserved it

189

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Boozehound

Oh, hai!

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 21/9/2019 22:00 - United States - Athens

Close, but no cigar

Today, my boyfriend tried to compliment my date-night attire. His brain couldn't decide between, "So pretty" and, "You're the shit," so his mouth decided, "You're so shitty" would suffice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1732

You deserved it

220

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By ??? - 26/1/2017 04:00

Today, I finally had the guts to tell my mom about her boyfriend hitting on me. Not only did she not care, but she got mad at me. I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8597

You deserved it

459

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By Anonymous - 2/3/2017 17:00 - Canada - Elora

Today, I was cleaning my older brothers room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand, FML

I agree, your life sucks

7332

You deserved it

1534

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By Anonymous - 21/8/2019 18:00

Today, I now have been dumped by 4 serious girlfriends in the last 5 years, each of them for the same reason: Being with me would have meant dealing with my mother who, without fail, asked each of them when we planned on marrying and having kids, every single week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1988

You deserved it

506

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By BloodyButUnbowed - 24/11/2019 03:00

Sex, Different idea

Today, I was deceived into a contract to "edit" porn. It was sick, disgusting material which stirred up all my sexual-abuse-survivor issues and made me retch. When I went to my husband to tell him what happened, his only comment was "Is it hot?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

2386

You deserved it

498

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By Anonymous - 1/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53424

You deserved it

15128

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By Hello my name is - 22/2/2009 22:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I went round to my Grandparents' to help set up their new Satellite TV. When I turned it on, for some reason it defaulted to "Arab Babes TV". I was therefore inadvertently responsible for the broadcast of porn in my Grandparents' living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37751

You deserved it

4686

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By Typidiot - 25/10/2017 01:37

Today, I spent ages writing a draft press release as part of a copywriting job application. I worked really hard and read it through several times before submitting. They emailed me to point out that I'd misspelled the name of the company. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1702

You deserved it

2538

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By person123abc - 9/12/2010 05:35 - United States

Today, I sat in my room on the computer instead of attending the party of the year. I got kicked out because I wasn't invited. The party was in my back yard, hosted by my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36249

You deserved it

4087

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By Anon - 5/12/2009 14:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15078

You deserved it

17121

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By fuckyouverymuch - 13/6/2013 10:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51824

You deserved it

26664

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By nomorenakedpicsplease - 7/7/2013 05:21 - Canada - Leduc

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend gives out my number to guys who ask for hers. Let's just say that I'll never be able to unsee the pictures that were sent to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59216

You deserved it

5255

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By hairplease - 27/2/2010 19:03 - United States

Today, I brought my best friend to my uncle's birthday party. We were having a great time until my grandmother walked up to us and said to me, "You sure have a nice looking boyfriend." My friend is a girl. She has cancer and lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43640

You deserved it

2378

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By Anonymous - 18/4/2016 19:28 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19639

You deserved it

5103

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By ugly - 31/8/2010 12:11 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to school. I was applying some makeup when I noticed a little boy watching me. When I was finished I heard him whisper to his mom, "I thought make up was supposed to make you pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32360

You deserved it

6697

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By mah - 16/1/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6018

You deserved it

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By chloeleigholivia - 10/1/2016 19:55 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18214

You deserved it

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By LFE - 16/10/2013 04:40 - United States - Liberty Hill

Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27553

You deserved it

45245

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By fuckcops - 13/6/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, I got my paycheck. I was really excited since I've been broke for the last two weeks. On my way home, I got pulled over and got a ticket for expired tags. The $90 for new tags plus $135 for the citation will leave me with enough to buy a burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22721

You deserved it

29571

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By feelgood - 29/7/2013 05:08 - United States

Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44432

You deserved it

6721

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By Anonymous - 27/8/2014 03:19 - United States - Topeka

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24068

You deserved it

46833

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By Zoe123 - 19/3/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

I agree, your life sucks

89969

You deserved it

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By sexybelly - 26/3/2015 08:35 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32758

You deserved it

4589

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By stuck - 19/9/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, I went to see my boyfriend with the intention of breaking up with him. Instead I discovered that he lost his job today and has to move back in with his parents. I can't bring myself to dump someone who's already crying about his horrible day. Now I have to comfort my soon-to-be ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31590

You deserved it

10867

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By anon - 16/1/2016 23:15 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I slept with my deputy manager. He slept with my insane jealous housemate months ago. I need to find a new job and a new flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13689

You deserved it

20957

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By please stop singing!!!! - 21/3/2014 23:59 - United States - Windermere

Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41208

You deserved it

4110

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By YuckyDuckyLucky - 3/6/2015 17:36 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29689

You deserved it

5771

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By Badhusky - 29/8/2018 20:30

Today, I had to carry the dead weight of my 90-pound husky upstairs to the bath because he hates it. He cried the entire time, loudly. He then rolled in the dirt when I let him outside to pee not even an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2658

You deserved it

477

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By sadface - 4/1/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31369

You deserved it

7383

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By yourekillingme - 19/2/2016 04:12 - United States - Mission

Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been feeling of pressure in my chest. After running numerous tests, I was told I was perfectly healthy and had nothing to worry about. I made it as far as the front door before I collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23766

You deserved it

1454

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By Busted - 16/3/2010 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend since I believed him to be cheating on me with another woman, something he adamantly denied. I went to his house to get all my stuff back. After I left, I discovered a silk thong that definitely did not belong to me, in amongst my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33350

You deserved it

4635

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By Anonymous - 11/11/2012 10:26 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26377

You deserved it

3018

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By smh - 15/7/2014 20:11 - United States

Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50880

You deserved it

4267

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By itchyitch - 30/10/2019 06:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Cheapskate suds

Today, it turns out the beautiful, "organic" artisanal soap my boyfriend gave me actually came from the 99 cents store. He just wrapped it in some cellophane and gave it to me. I’m currently itching to death from the godawful rash and hives it gave me. I may need to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1763

You deserved it

207

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By Anonymous - 21/2/2016 19:02 - United States - North Scituate

Today, I found a picture of my ex with a new boyfriend. This wouldn't be so bad if she didn't break up with me because she was lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22339

You deserved it

1847

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By fuck your music - 16/7/2019 07:30 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I finally got tired of my neighbors constantly blaring their obnoxious rap music all hours of the day and night. Trying to be funny, I put Baby Shark on a loop and turned my speakers all the way up. They called the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1642

You deserved it

410

Favorite

By apple - 28/2/2010 18:57 - United States

Today, I had to clean out my room because I was having a sleepover. Only, I've not been in here for months since I've spent every night in my mom's room because I'm too scared to sleep alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9032

You deserved it

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By AudraRose - 7/9/2011 16:57 - United States

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37334

You deserved it

3501

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/1/2011 14:41 - United States

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks

30016

You deserved it

5836

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By babydoll - 12/10/2010 09:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34897

You deserved it

8315

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Top comments

By thisisbutaname | 38

#7907490 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 8:58

You don't need another xbox, you need a new girlfriend mate

By Matthew Smith | 10

#7907526 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 12:37

That’s domestic abuse in my eyes. Get the f out of there

Comments

By Jaymail | 13

#7907484 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 8:15

Check eBay.

By thisisbutaname | 38

#7907490 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 8:58

You don't need another xbox, you need a new girlfriend mate

Bamisoep | 5

#7907498 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 10:03

Ditch the crazy, as said : look for a new GF.

By alex_jaguara | 27

#7907502 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 10:23

Red flag, dude.

By Matthew Smith | 10

#7907526 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 12:37

That’s domestic abuse in my eyes. Get the f out of there

By magnumpeyote66 | 5

#7907548 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 14:54

The fact this FML didnt end with 'anyone got an xbox to trade for a girlfriend' is disappointing
DUMP
HER
CRAZY
PSYCHO
ABUSE
ASS
before she does something and YOU get arrested or stabbed. (Cause that's how these tend to go)

By Mayaaaaaaaaa | 12

#7907570 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 16:47

Your life doesn’t suck. Your girlfriend does.

By Kraths | 8

#7907571 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 16:48

I mean as an avid video game collector I always have two or three extras that I could sell. In all seriousness, the others are right it's time to find a new one

By AmbrosiaFan | 17

#7907599 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 18:24

Ex girlfriend right? Who also owes you an x box one.

By newwitch2010 | 10

#7907634 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 20:34

Quick way to replace your Xbone... dump your girlfriend and buy one with the money you’ve saved.

By Gina Marie Lombardi | 10

#7907652 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 22:40

Red Flag!!!!! Get rid of her and make her replace your Xbox