Miscellaneous: Today, I was using the restroom at a gas station when someone...

By Watsausrname - 14/06/2016 02:31

Today, I was using the restroom at a gas station when someone hurriedly knocked on the door. Thinking that it was my sister, I playfully said, "Hold up, hoe!" I opened the door to see a goth woman with an edgy haircut giving me a death stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 824

You deserved it 6 003

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Same thing different taste

By Cherie - 31/08/2009 21:18 - United States

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 760

You deserved it 10 440

Fighting talk

By bathroomblunder - 07/03/2010 02:38 - Canada

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door and turned the handle, a little old lady ripped the door open and yelled, "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 886

You deserved it 4 547

By rabid_otaku - 20/09/2014 23:39 - United States - Sycamore

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 059

You deserved it 2 920

By shyshy96679 - 20/06/2011 22:42 - United States

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 108

You deserved it 3 883

Whooped

By leah - 16/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 140

Little shit

By Anonymous - 31/12/2022 18:00 - United States - Fpo

Today, I took my brother to the bathroom at a restaurant. The stall next to mine was locked, so I assumed he was still in there. I yelled his name a few times, then banged on the door out of annoyance. I gave up and returned to the table, where he was sitting with a grin. Turns out I just traumatized a poor lady in the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 391

Weirdo

By ReineXre - 15/06/2016 00:00

Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 731

By a manly woman? - 09/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 124

You deserved it 4 978

Freakout

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 22:03 - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 4 322

Free the Flow!

By Lunar-Spice - 23/10/2019 14:00

Today, I went to take a shower. I noticed a funky smell, but I just assumed it was from whoever had been there last. When I pulled the shower curtain back, I found out that my sister has stopped using feminine hygiene products for her period. It looked like someone had died in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 868

You deserved it 184

Mauskau 35

Sunday 7 August 2016 11:06

I would've just laughed it off. Doesn't matter if it was my sister or not, hoes gotta hold up and wait for their turn.

leahishazy 5

Saturday 16 July 2016 0:21

She should probably take a chill pill if being called hoe in a gas station is worthy of a death glare.

Comments

leahishazy 5

Saturday 16 July 2016 0:21

She should probably take a chill pill if being called hoe in a gas station is worthy of a death glare.

ScarletteEve 33

Sunday 7 August 2016 19:53

She's an edgy goth, that's probably her resting expression.

Mauskau 35

Sunday 7 August 2016 11:06

I would've just laughed it off. Doesn't matter if it was my sister or not, hoes gotta hold up and wait for their turn.

AlexGuy711 14

Monday 8 August 2016 4:41

**** you sexist.

Zlunder 19

Sunday 7 August 2016 11:21

Have you ever heard of shit recycle? I'm sure she interdouced it to you that time.

Diarrhea_Volcano 29

Sunday 7 August 2016 18:30

Wat

Arkham_Callabero 15

Sunday 7 August 2016 20:34

I don't think anyone's heard of that.

thepandabear123 5

Sunday 7 August 2016 22:30

Interdouced....okay then

cootiequeen4444 11

Monday 8 August 2016 1:05

I read it as interdouched and thought it had to do with this 'shit recycle'. Not that it made it make any more sense to me that is..

hoosiergirl94 31

Sunday 7 August 2016 11:33

Hoes gon be hoes

OneFluffyBunny 4

Sunday 7 August 2016 11:57

Never piss off Lisbeth Salander!

fhksuaifk 16

Monday 8 August 2016 8:17

Haha. I just watched all those movies this week

guttedbrit 26

Sunday 7 August 2016 12:26

me and my best friend refer to each other in this term all the time and this does usually happen. No bother! it just makes for good stories later on!

queen_lol 24

Sunday 7 August 2016 12:36

Lmfaooo . bitches gots to wait their turn. Lol

lexiieeex3 32

Sunday 7 August 2016 13:01

Eh you'll never see them again, and who knows, maybe she's a goth hoe.

Colon_Man 17

Sunday 7 August 2016 19:53

"You'll never see them, again." *show up to work the next day* "This is your new cube mate..."

lukian_fml 29

Monday 8 August 2016 1:22

So a farming tool in goth?

ClairvoyantVamp 19

Sunday 7 August 2016 15:54

Please explain to me the relevance of her subculture and hairstyle.

MikaykayUnicorn 36

Sunday 7 August 2016 23:02

To give the FML more detail. You always want to give your writing detail so the reader can imagine the scene.

sadpanda888 12

Sunday 7 August 2016 18:23

Not an edgy haircut too! How scary!!

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable Work You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

The Top

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 062

You deserved it 4 891

Today, a colleague texted me to say that I needed a haircut. Today was also the first day I attempted to ‘do’ my hair in about 5 years. Clearly, I shouldn’t have bothered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 164

Today, after an ex let me know I have a 19 year old-son. I was beyond excited so I spent the weekend with them and I can tell you now, the boy is a complete prick, and I prefer to continue to claim I’m childless rather than admit I fathered that arrogant, rude, selfish, entitled little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 469

You deserved it 605

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 312

You deserved it 4 554

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 087

You deserved it 40 690

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 351

You deserved it 9 135