Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving to work and stopped at a stop light. A full 2 or 3 seconds passed, followed by a car rear-ending me. The idiot driving it got out and gave me hell, calling me a maniac because I braked "too quickly" and didn't give him a chance to react. FML
Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, I was walking out of the grocery store when out of nowhere, a car backing up pretty fast sped down the parking lot and hit me, causing me to fall down and drop all of my groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Today, while driving to work, some asshole stopped sharply on the 60 mph highway because he almost hit the car in front of him. Even with maintaining my distance, and slamming on the brakes, I still ruined the front end of my car on his dented bumper. I haven't even had the car for a year, and I'm still the one at fault. FML
Today, I was driving home from work and noticed the car behind me was tailgating me pretty badly. I was starting to get angry with the driver, and kept glancing in my rear view mirror at him. While I was doing so, the traffic ahead of me stopped, and I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML
Today, I was speeding a little on the highway. I thought I saw a police car, so I slammed on my brakes, causing the person behind me to rear end me. The "police car" I saw was just a broken down car on the side of the road. FML
Today, I was driving to my new home with a lot of my belongings in the car. I could hear things shifting in the back. When I parked, I opened the door, ready to catch my vodka. I caught it - and watched my laptop slide out of the car, onto the concrete, and break into 3 pieces. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TPSerigne 9
An object in motion stays in motion.
frizbycatch 7
Oh no..... :(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (126)
frizbycatch 7
Oh no..... :(
MibInwalo 0
Inertia, bitch.
emvictoria 9
Noooo :( Atleast your okay!!
sammyf89 13
I read this in bruce from family guy's voice! Lol
a1f0sff 25
It must have been awful to clean everything afterwards...
_Oblivion_ 12
Aren't you supposed to secure packages when driving or is it just me? Especially GLASS BOTTLES that are worth a couple hundred.
Ty2win 3
OH YEAH! says the KoolAid man
mwrc8man94 1
Where I live, an open bottle in the car results in a citation. 200 dollars worth for liquor?? Get ready for a flood of citations OP.
dsbs 9
Seatbelts aren't just for people
philipino 24
I think the word "booze" is fun to say. Boooooze. Booze booze booze booze booze.
Codezlol 21
Next time call Jason Statham, he will transport it for you.
Sydknee 8
Newton's first law of motion.
ThisIsMyReign 4
39 - no he won't get a citations but he will get a nice bill
ChibiChibi_fml 28
They wouldn't get citations for $200 dollars worth of unopened booze that they were moving for work. They are just going to get stuck with a bill for it all breaking.
GSP101 0
Did you drink it all?
Leipe_Henkie 10
cool ^^ including the glass shards you reckon? that'd be amazing, surviving it o.O
EatnBeef 7
Just the $200 worth of booze. She didn't tell us about the other $1500 she's keeping for herself:)
yoyoforpeace 14
You wasted it when it could have been wasting me!!!! ;(
BatteryAddict 11
Alcohol is poison. See this as a favor, OP.
sammyf89 13
He wasn't planning on drinking it all. He was just doing his job.
Climaxx 11
Um, I think transporting it is his job. I could be wrong, just the way he said it....
mind_geek 15
Batterys are poison. See this as a favor Batteryaddict.
ladyLALAA 29
I love alcohol. I hope it wasn't vodka! :(
KeyboardWarrior 10
You guys realize OP is a woman, right?
BatteryAddict 11
Misread, and for that I apologize.
thehouseaddict 3
Eh, most things are "poison" if consumed without moderation. Get a grip and self control, mkay
Bekll 31
A-alcohol is bad, mmmkay?
TPSerigne 9
An object in motion stays in motion.
cassiebear7652 7
Until acted upon by an outside force
enriquepp 4
Question define inertia
twilightluvr101 4
Damn it science follows u every where
moop256 10
Read the law of relativity inertia is useless in some cases so are all of newtons laws and the speed of time
icantellu 7
I'm Sir Isaac Newton and I approve this comment.
Pi653 0
#117 that's complex lol, it's called Newton's second law, an object In motion wants to stay in motion
ambowew 7
Drinks all around!
Comet_Candy 23
Your picture made me laugh so hard.
Dedredful1 13
Good luck explaining that one to your boss.
CareFace 16
"someone cut me off while I was delivering that alcohol, I had to brake cause the alcohol to gain motion and shatter the bottles in my vehicle. I'm sorry I couldn't help it." Don't think anyone would need luck with that, mate.
alyspar2 5
You lose the alcohol right when you actually need it smh.
harshpatel009 4
You should have thrown it the other driver
nighters 0
Yes scoop up all the glass shards with your bare hands, then find a random car that would be long gone. Good plan -_-
harshpatel009 4
How bout you just read the FML and u comment If I want about the FML and stop hatin on other people's comments. It was a joke. U sir really need to get job or social life instead of criticizing other people's comments.oh yea and -_- u madd?
ICaughtFire 4
106, if you're going to throw insults when attempting to defend yourself, at least try to sound mildly intelligent while you do it.
badam_fml 6
your car will be all hygienic
iliketurdles 7
Wait what? Just because alcohol can be used as a disinfectant doesn't mean it's hygienic to throw some on your car.. Or am I missing something here?
Marcelb 17
It most probably was a joke.
iliketurdles 7
Oh, it wasn't funny.
KeyboardWarrior 10
To you.
loller27 6
suck it up :D