Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up… out my left nostril. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML
Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML
Today, I tried to get a Chloraseptic tablet for my sore throat. As soon as I put it in my mouth, I got the urge to sneeze. When I sneezed, the force of the sneeze caused me to accidentally spit it out… right into the trash. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML
Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML
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Top comments
SooShee 0
Cool party trick!!
purplecowchik 5
I'm jealous.. I wish I could be cool enough to do that!!
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Comments (207)
Friaza 29
The left side of my face felt numb for half an hour while I blew my nose.
yuggi1 11
Now THAT is a true FML. :( Tissue?
shireeniee 8
haha
gingermaria10 0
Hahaha!! That's hilarious!
thrAsHeRr9081 16
I've had bacon come out through my sinuses before.... ouch.
weirdo2013 0
that should be on a tic tac commercial!!!
rockyraccoon28 8
"buy our product so you can choke yourself whenever you want!"
jetex97 1
I did this before but with pasta noodles.....
tiftif567 0
that made me LOL
slinky_29 2
this shouldn't be on fml. this sucks and so do you.
elmorous 0
Even if someone has bad breath, you will smell it as minty fresh. I see this as a win!
yuggi1 11
Your display picture fascinates me :). I meant the giant ****, mind you. :P
elmorous 0
Why thanks. Everybody stares at my ****. We've learned to live with it.
Impulse97 0
OMFG LMFAO ******* hilarious.