Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up… out my left nostril. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML
Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML
Today, I tried to get a Chloraseptic tablet for my sore throat. As soon as I put it in my mouth, I got the urge to sneeze. When I sneezed, the force of the sneeze caused me to accidentally spit it out… right into the trash. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML
Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML
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Top comments
SooShee 0
Cool party trick!!
purplecowchik 5
I'm jealous.. I wish I could be cool enough to do that!!
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Comments (207)
hanniegirl 0
how is this fml
WazUpItzRyan 0
Dont complain. Thats awesome
yuggi1 11
I hope you are okay OP. You could had agitated the sensitive capillaries in your nostril.
yuggi1 11
Eww double post! Sorry, I thought the app didn't post the previous comment.
DocBastard 40
I have to assume that "Tic Tac" is your nickname for (and size of) your boyfriend's penis.
Fortuitous 0
Damn, you beat me to it, you sick pervert. :)
sloantt 2
I bet
yuggi1 11
If that was the case then this truly would be a FML. For one thing, OP would have to deal with one nostril been 10x bigger than the other. Hahaha, the freak! >:)
DocBastard 40
Thanks, Fortuitous. I'll take that as the compliment I assume you meant it to be.
darkmis1 18
Awesome!
Friaza 29
WTF THIS GUY STOLE MY FML. The first time my FML got accepted onto the site and it turns out somebody else uploaded it after me. Why? I thought it was an error that it said "Norfolk" instead of "Paisley" but wtf. WHY DID YOU RE-UPLOAD MY FML. Do you decline peoples FML's after copying them or something?.
Sirin_fml 47
This FML was indeed submitted by you, but it was done so anonymously, and so isn't linked to your account on the main site, hence why you have no blue ribbon. I can only assume an error in the location tracking system led it to say Norfolk; this has happened before. But you're right, it's your FML, and I've changed the name accordingly :-) [Yo guys, I deleted this momentarily after posting, cause the guy said something about details being changed, even though I saw the original in the moderation queue. But it's linked to his account. WTF?]
Friaza 29
WTF THIS GUY STOLE MY FML. The first time my FML got accepted onto the site and it turns out somebody else uploaded it after me. Why? I thought it was an error that it said "Norfolk" instead of "Paisley" but wtf. WHY DID YOU RE-UPLOAD MY FML. I didn't gag. What a sympathy, attention seeker. I didn't gag I just choked and you deleted the drinking water part too!
doink 0
Shut up. You are the attention seeker. It's not like anybody's praising the OP for having such an interesting and ******* amazing submission, and it's definitely not something to be proud of, so hop the hell off and deep-throat another taco, you raging son of a bitch fucktard throat-****** taco-blowing shit-headed twat-jockeying motherfucking blue-balled crying-ass cracker. Next time SPIT, BITCH, SPIT.
tinybear93 0
that's not an fml!! that's awesome!
brianjman14 23
That sounds like it hurt, but still, that must have been pretty epic. If I saw my friend do that, I would be blown away.
Stinkis 0
Why is there no "you're over reacting" button? How is your life ******?