Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
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By
holymolybro
| 0
"Sweety...can we..um..go in this alley for a sec.."
By
chlorinegreen
| 27
tell her to stand in front of you?
COMMENTS
By
sherd
| 3
dude thatz what turns me ob
By
sherd
| 3
dude thatz what turns me on
By
chlorinegreen
| 27
tell her to stand in front of you?
Reply
maa_rico
| 4
Leprechaun's curse.
Reply
mikemik22
| 0
yes tell her to stand in front of u then bend over
Reply
Takador
| 3
i dont see how thats an FML, i would have stroked it, then again getting purple nurples doesnt turn me on... so idk
Reply
BWill9014
| 4
83 made me Lol
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Ctwebsyter
| 0
ha
Reply
Rei_Ayanami
| 18
Don't be so HARD on yourself, just drink a couple STIFF ones and hope nobody has a BONER two to pick with you.
That was awful, but I made myself chuckle.
That was awful, but I made myself chuckle.
Reply
DoubleEdgedBlade
| 4
240 - That pun surprised me so much that it erected all my flaccid hair on my head. I guess I am special like a beat off the road; a masturbator, orgasm-aker.
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Jonny_Trump
| 0
240 made me smile. 262 made me stop.
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YoUglyMama
| 0
now we know really is at the end of the rainbow dont we?
Reply
steelbubble
| 0
so THAT'S how it works
Reply
OwN3d3d
| 0
have you not heard of the waistband tuck?
Reply
HipsterFox
| 3
Dude your like, 12?
Reply
Skarkie321
| 18
329- I was thinking the same thing
Reply
rachirbreb
| 1
..and you can't even use the correct form of you're .. so your logic is out the window
By
holymolybro
| 0
"Sweety...can we..um..go in this alley for a sec.."
Reply
Dez31396
| 0
HA!!
Reply
bama61
| 0
agreed :)
Reply
Ihatethesenames
| 0
lol
Reply
Stallion19
| 0
haha ya lol
Reply
NextBigThing5044
| 0
Lmao
Reply
Fici
| 0
haha
Reply
kingtz
| 6
Exactly. She caused it, she fix it!
By
kiltsaresexy
| 4
Looks like we know where your favorite erogenous zones are. ;)
Reply
sgenfkshe
| 5
(; thhaattss hottttt(:
Reply
sgenfkshe
| 5
lol oppppssieess! haha it was suppose to be a comment(:
Reply
hobojo11
| 0
i would work it jus acte drunk ish and push you boner up agenst random girls when she aint looking
By
Dallyni
| 22
Think dead puppies!
Reply
TayonaC
| 10
I mean st. Patricks day
Reply
AlienX_fml
| 0
that might get him off ad well.
Reply
vsx2000goton
| 0
No, think about a papercut on the tip of your boner. Think. About. It.
Reply
FlixDoom
| 0
Actualy...it hurts like hell! ... dont ask how i know
Reply
Wow that sounds worse than shoving stakes under your nails D: *shudders* >.<
Reply
Suchagoonnn
| 4
omg STOP
Reply
AceMint
| 0
104- You are twisted, that made me cringe. D:
Reply
missory_missouri
| 0
Ok...I'm a girl and it made ME cringe, too. I almost threw up!
Reply
lexeous
| 4
That's hot.
Reply
KomiExplosion
| 0
Ow. I can already feel the pain.
Reply
Summera
| 2
You were masturbating and tried to wipe your dong with a piece of paper? :D
Reply
Jonny_Trump
| 0
249 is a girl with a penis. HAWT.
Reply
happysmile987
| 24
#255 your profile fits your comment so well
By
TayonaC
| 10
aw that sucks.
when was at Patricks day?! aw crap and I was looking forward to it... kinda
I'm a fail
when was at Patricks day?! aw crap and I was looking forward to it... kinda
I'm a fail
Reply
tulsafml
| 0
um well. it's today...
Reply
TayonaC
| 10
HOLY CRAP IT IS!
Well.... my day is now officially ruined
Well.... my day is now officially ruined
Reply
andreabeth95
| 2
42 hahah! so true, I was just thinking that. I had no idea what she was trying to say
Reply
TayonaC
| 10
lol sorry basically I was trying to figure out when saint Patricks day was... I wanted to do something for it and now I can't. :(
Reply
Igor_g5
| 0
I figured out what she was trying to say but she didn't do a very good job of saying it. The main problem was that she said when was AT St Patricks day. remove the at and its understandable.
Reply
TayonaC
| 10
crap I didn't even notice that. sorry again
o__O
o__O
Reply
polysyllabist
| 3
Budget cuts due to the declining leprechaun economy required double rainbows to converge and utilize the same end, thus requiring a single leprechaun and a single pot of gold. With 50% of their workforce laid off, stocks rose and the rainbow execs then awarded themselves another couple billion in bonuses.
Reply
dudeitsdanny
| 9
^ I didn't know leprechauns were American business men..
Reply
x3nikkii97
| 0
fail #7...
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inuyasha1618
| 7
..I understood you fine ^-^"
Reply
dudeitsdanny
| 9
It's pretty easy to see what he/she meant. "at Patrick's" is what comes out when you hit the a instead of the s in "St"
Simple. Could have even been autocorrected. It wasn't hard to read or figure out.
Simple. Could have even been autocorrected. It wasn't hard to read or figure out.
Reply
Hockeyfreak123
| 0
u a retard
By
Tempsey
| 0
If he was wearing jeans then it's not so bad, but judging from the FML, he was wearing something less stiff and showing something stiffer.
Reply
docscientist
| 9
Seriously, what did men do before jeans? Dress slacks are a recipe for disaster.
Reply
Impact_In_3_2_1
| 2
Before jeans, most men wear underwear.
Reply
testthecoal
| 5
or go commando.
Reply
MissBunny25
| 0
maybe he was wearing athletic shorts...?
Reply
persianjr1
| 7
what about stretchy pants? lol
Reply
ballwiz23
| 0
haha nice 63
Reply
docscientist
| 9
So, the power of the dong < underwear? because wearing boxers doesn't help.
Reply
willishall172
| 0
you look like kesha!
Reply
SassiestLemon
| 2
I'm assuming that, since it was St. Patrick's Day, he was wearng a kilt.
By
sarahrwan
| 2
that is really embarrassing, but hopefully people were getting too drunk to even notice!
Reply
kykyshay
| 0
good point.
Reply
triggerit
| 5
women pay attention
Reply
lol DONT LOOKA AT THE NIPPLE, JUST THROW BACK SOME SHOTSSSS
By
sgenfkshe
| 5
(; ttthhaattsss hottt(:
Reply
hawty12345
| 0
...0.o
Reply
sgenfkshe
| 5
(; alwayysssss a good timme(:(;
Reply
AMAZINashleigh
| 6
You're like 4.
Reply
jess6blondie9
| 2
12, I doubt you even know what an erection is.
Reply
Cass3m0
| 0
You have a serious case of text stutter.
Reply
tesuan
| 0
I'm a guy and you're still frightening me.
Reply
kykyshay
| 0
I agree with 127.
Reply
MissBunny25
| 0
112 you're not a guy... you're a freaking adorable Pikachu kitty!!
Reply
duzzyfucks
| 0
HAHA, word.
Reply
kykyshay
| 0
(149) and I'm the one that sounds like an moron.
Reply
persianjr1
| 7
thanks for admitting it 190
Reply
MissBunny25
| 0
an moron? seriously? nah, too easy.
Reply
kykyshay
| 0
too easy for you to be a moron.
Reply
vsx2000goton
| 0
190, please get off FML and find something better to do with your life before you end it due to the amount of bitch-slapping comments you receive on this site.
Reply
jess6blondie9
| 2
Shut the hell up Kykyshay. Seriously. I don't know how many times people have to tell you that before you know that no one likes you.
Reply
kykyshay
| 0
I know who likes me and who doesn't thank you.if you don't like my comments don't read them.
Reply
MissBunny25
| 0
everyone just stop fighting, please. it's not worth it. honestly.
Reply
Sirin_fml
| 46
Yep, it really isn't in anybody's best interest for this MissBunny25 vs Kykyshay vs jess6blondie9 vs the world thing to continue, trust me on that. Calm down, chill out. :-)
Reply
kykyshay
| 0
sorry about those names missbunny. I was just mad... :-(
Reply
MissBunny25
| 0
it's okay :) all is forgotten. dude I told you sirin was the best mod in the world. she's like that pink good witch of the north on the wizard of oz. OMG thats who she reminds me of :0 holy shit.
Reply
MissBunny25
| 0
*I'm sorry too lol.
Reply
kykyshay
| 0
lol she is pretty cool.
Reply
stunner_steph
| 0
^ has anyone ever told you, you look like ke$ha?(: but wayyyy prettier
Reply
stunner_steph
| 0
oops that was for missbunny
Reply
MissBunny25
| 0
227 haha, unfortunately, yes. I get that all the time D: can't say I agree. but you're pretty as well :) and thank you.
Reply
kykyshay
| 0
lol I'm pretty sure my dog doesn't look like Kesha...actually she might a little...
Reply
MissBunny25
| 0
hahahahaha but your dog is cute!!
Reply
stunner_steph
| 0
thanks it's not bad cause u just have her good features
Reply
kykyshay
| 0
thanx! those sunglasses really bring out her eyes. :-)
Reply
kykyshay
| 0
bye, I'll see you later. gotta go! :)
Reply
MissBunny25
| 0
234 well thanks :)
bye kykyshay
bye kykyshay
Reply
cougar737
| 0
lol total win pic
Reply
matt1990
| 0
@12.. im not really a grammar nazi, but when u add 17 extra same letters to a word, i just have to let my guard down, and say stfu cuz ur an idiot..grow up
Reply
MissBunny25
| 0
243 &246 who are y'all referring to?