Today, I was sparring with a guy in my Tae Kwon Do class. He had a hard-on the entire time we were sparring. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML
Today, my period started. It wouldn't be a big deal if it hadn't happened while I was in my karate class practicing kicks, and if the guy I have a crush on hadn't informed me of it after chuckling. FML
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML
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Top comments
Maxine17 8
Should have sparred him in the dick!
flyinmysoup 0
might have been more of an fml for him. i bet he was embarrassed
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Comments (228)
Tigg3r 3
OP, it can only be normal. I sparr guys three times my size and get clocked a lot yes but it teaches me something. It also gets rid of fear in a tournament ring. Out of curiosity, what belt are you? What type of it do you attend? ATA, ITA, WTTF, STU? Or is it another one? Please don't tell me if it's a mixed martial art though. Those things are just stupid. You learn no respect or how to be a good sport. How do I know? Watch the olympics from two years ago. That mixed martial arts guy who kicked the ref in the face? Yeah, so not allowed.
Tigg3r 3
I'm a second degree in the ATA. Woo! Go TKD Chicks! Atleast your not ITA... Long long long story behind that one...
Untoldtruths 0
I'm in ITA, so I'd like to hear the story. :]
In_Wha 0
Ahh, I'm in the ATA too (if you couldn't already tell from my username)!! I'm a new 3rd degree. What state are you in???
TKDmartialartist 0
I'm WTF and I'm testing for my black belt in a couple of months. Nervous! I haven't even 2 on 1 sparred yet. I've been to 1 sparring class in the last 5 months, and it wasn't my belt sparring class. They changed the schedule, so my sparring class is the only day I can't go. I've been to 2 of my friends' black belt testings, and my little sister and I will be next to test. Any tips?
Tigg3r 3
im in southern cali!
Equinox7 0
hmmm well if you have any trees in your neighborhood put your gear on and practice on those but for the most part just practice by yourself and think about what your opponent could do and how to counter it. good luck by the way
Skarvig 0
A hard on is a mans way to tell you look good.
Compass 0
@31 Go spar in any martial arts and get kicked in the crotch (either intentionally or on purpose) and then say wearing a cup is stupid. Even with a cup it still hurts the areas between your legs and your crotch, but at least it's better than the alternative.
GrapefruitZoe 0
I think OP's a chick, but I wish she/he had specified because it sort of matters. Regardless, this is NOT FOP'sL, but Fbonerguy'sL. I doubt he was grinning creepily. He was probably really embarrassed.
Flutist 3
Op, sometimes its losing battle. The pants and the dick spar and the dick loses. Grow up. Its not like he humped you.
yakturk43 0
maybe OP is saying FHL because boner guy didn't dry hump him/her
Darksun1 0
Tigg3r!!!! I'm thouroughly impressed...I did Tae kwon 4 yrs. under the teachings of Grandmaster Buk Sung Choi Severn, MD! first degree blk, was born to kick! Mixed martial arts is a disgrace TO the arts...your passon is Admirable. :)
Tigg3r 3
Thanks! It really upsets me when people call TKD stupid or gay when really it's not. It's hard work and self control, respect, integrity, and courtesy. I didn't spend seven years earning my second degree for nothing...
ERAUPike 1
The "fighter" that kicked the referee in the face was named Angel Matos. He has never had any affiliation with MMA, in fact he was a lifetime Take My Do practitioner.
WUTBM 1
@ERAUPike. do you genuinely thinks thats funny? Take My Do? are you serious?
ERAUPike 1
I think it is hilarious that these little kids are so brainwashed to think that they are really accomplishing anything more than draining their parents wallets. (Take My Do=Take My Money) I figure that maybe you are too slow to figure it out yourself.
saucyjade 0
i was wondering what the **** you were talking about. DOUGH. it's DOUGH. and the fact that you keep indulging the urge to make nasty, uninformed comments leads me to believe you are either a juicehead experiencing a bit of roid rage, or a fatass who just started learning MMA who feels the need to run off at the mouth 'cause you can't run otherwise. hop off tkd's nuts.
cthulhu1138 1
If you put up a decent fight, all the blood would have flowed out of his dick and into his skeletal muscles. Unless, of course, you were beating him bad and he happened to be a masochist.
ashlees 0
hahaha omg that's happened in my sparring in tae known do I pissed my self laughing at him