Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
Today, my dad texted me while I was in the dentist's chair getting my teeth cleaned. The dental hygienist jumped at the notification sound my phone made and split my gum open. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML
Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML
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Top comments
nuked 0
And why were you singing during a game? YDI for being a disrespectful idiot.
Malevise 0
YDI for being annoying.
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Comments (160)
plethora 3
Leaving aside the football, YDI for chewing gum upside down. That was always going to be a choking hazard.
briannax21 0
lmfao. YTDI.
Ireplywith_memes 0
The Jets stopped the Colts undefeated streak, **** YOU FOR INTERRUPTING THAT.
littlejacks4 0
J E T S JETS JETS JETSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Soulathyia 0
Guys these days are so ignorant. Daughter's Joy > Football Game. Always. Although If I screamed NO! at either of my parents they'd kick me out with nothing but the clothes on my back.
ihatestupidppl 0
Meh. I'm sure my father would agree with you on the whole daughter's joy > (pretty much anything). But at the same time, my dad busts his ass to provide for me and my joy, so I don't think letting the man watch his football games in peace is too much to ask. Sounds to me like OP was being a brat and got what she deserved.
iplaywow 0
arrogant daughter who only cares about herself and won't shut up is about 500000000000 times less important then football
Russia_fml 0
daughter's joy= singing upside down whilst chewing gum? riiiight.
WTFsGoingOn 0
#46 you are displaying a lot of ignorance yourself there. Where in this FML does it imply that this dad doesn't care about his daughter's joy? Do you realize how much parents give up for their children? I don't think asking to watch one football game without being annoyed is too much. Considering the poor guy probably just bought her a bunch of Christmas presents I'm sure she probably had something she could have done to pass the time and allow him some peace for a minute. She probably had a lot she could have been sitting there being thankful for if she wasn't obviously such a brat.
LilaBear 2
Daughter's Joy > Football game? Are you serious? What happened to Parent's Joy > Daughter's joy? What happened to Parent > Daughter? What happened to daughter-can-go-sing-in-another-room? No... daughter was being a brat and deserved it.
fretforyerlatte 0
i put my daughter's happiness ahead of my own on a daily basis and would lay down my life for her, but when she's getting loud during something i'm watching, she DOES get hushed. in fact, she was hushed several times during the football games yesterday. there is a difference between putting your kid's happiness first and just letting them be disrespectful.
Asadsackopotatoe 0
jets won
Stfu_bitch 0
lmfao...the image of that is hilarious....still deserve it =]
perstephane 4
This reminds me of something a commedian said in his stand up: "You say 'come here', the child says 'no.' You go get them. That's 'yes.'" In this case, it's "You say 'shh', the child says 'no.' She chokes on her gum. That's 'yes.'" Funny how being a disrespectful brat and shouting at your dad didn't work out great for you...
fretforyerlatte 0
that was in "billy cosby - himself" i'm pretty sure. one of the all-time best.
Thunderbender 2
Lol not one comment is sticking up for the OP XD
Rico5037 0
moderator? a little help
RachelTM 0
Erm, yes?
DynamicDave 11
"...singing while lying upside down and chewing gum" = YDI "My dad was trying to focus on the football game" = double YDI