Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
Today, my dad texted me while I was in the dentist's chair getting my teeth cleaned. The dental hygienist jumped at the notification sound my phone made and split my gum open. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML
Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML
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Top comments
nuked 0
And why were you singing during a game? YDI for being a disrespectful idiot.
Malevise 0
YDI for being annoying.
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Comments (160)
firecopy 6
Is this football us Americans love or soccer?
iplaywow 0
actually soccer is a ton more hostile because of there being so little goals in the 90+ minutes the game lasts, but it is rewarded by the occasional riot at the end
HyperExecuter 0
#105, what the ****? how does that make sense you dumbass?
Compass 0
Someone's a brat.
bananapie62 0
its about time u respect ur parrents
nathaniax3 0
ok first of all why are people being so mean? lmao this shit Is super funny lmaoooooooo
EffYoLife 14
thats what you get for disrespecting your dad. he should have karate chopped you in the throat
NataleeC 0
lmaoooo like Sandy Cheeks!
NataleeC 0
lmaoooo like Sandy Cheeks!
AmbrosiaFan 19
Are you like 5 and need attention? YDI for interrupting a show (whether it be a game or not) AND sitting upside down on the furniture while singing!
PhillyFox 0
YDI for acting like a spoiled little six year old.
rara13 0
ha why is everyone taking this so personally, she just wanted to sing. jeeze
Kiara41 0
Because she was being obnoxious. I'm not trying to say that the people who said, "Haha, ur a dumb bitch!" are right, just that I can see where they're coming from. If she wanted to sing, she could at least go into another room. Or outside. Or anywhere, really, but she was disrespectful and being a brat about it. OP, all I can say to you is that YDI.