Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
Today, my dad texted me while I was in the dentist's chair getting my teeth cleaned. The dental hygienist jumped at the notification sound my phone made and split my gum open. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML
Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML
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Top comments
nuked 0
And why were you singing during a game? YDI for being a disrespectful idiot.
Malevise 0
YDI for being annoying.
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Comments (160)
goldpeaches 0
are you dumb?
RevengeOnYou 0
i agree with #49, If you wanted to be annoying, then go somewhere else. What are you trying to do? get attention from your dad who will soon wish you never been born? Besides, how old are you anyway? you seem to be around 9 or 10 if your so immature. Why do you even post this on the fml when YOU DESERVED IT!! Karma told you to stfu by causing you to choke on the gum you dumb shit :]
VitamiX 0
it's almost like you're trying to make yourself look like the antagonist here
iplaywow 0
no she's trying to get sympathy because she thinks she is the victim even though she doesn't deserve it and everyone will tell her that
FlipTheKillswitc 0
Ydi never get between a man and his football. If you were my kid I would've put you through a window.
rathalosrocker 0
1) your ******* annoying, you deserved it. 2) who the **** sings upside-down while chewing gum?! its as if ur trying to choke!
Muhfin 0
YDI for being so imature! how old are you?? jeeez
Muhfin 0
YDI for being so analitical
tonyihopness 0
sing during golf or some other shit stupid ass mofo
iambatman123 0
Haha, YDI for being a dumb bitch.
Shy2Say 0
That's bad karma.