Work: Today, I was pulling a car out of the shop where I work, when... - FML

By sacredsilence29 - 16/02/2010 21:16 - United States

Today, I was pulling a car out of the shop where I work, when I tried to go over a small snow bank to park it. What I didn't realize was the snow had turned into solid ice, and it broke the front bumper cover. It's going to cost $1000 to fix it and I also had to call the owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 177

You deserved it 11 020

sacredsilence29 tells us more.

sacredsilence29 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 21:57

LOL. WoW. It's amazing how much peoples opinions change. Let's see to anwser a few remarks. No I didnt get fired, the car is getting fixed and paid for so the customer pays nothing, and when I told him he asked me to have them touch up all the other spots while they had the paint mixed. The snow bank was only a few inches so it wasnt like I was trying to drive up a mountain with an M5 and telling him that I did it was the respectful thing to do, thanks. That's part of my job is moving cars around and when it snows shit happens! That's what insurance is for....

BO Central

Dysfunctional

Vulture

By Cristie - 30/09/2011 05:01 - Canada

Today, as I was training a new guy at work, my husband spent half the day creeping outside in his truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 377

You deserved it 3 509

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Crawley

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 802

You deserved it 6 427

By Megan - 17/06/2012 19:38 - United Kingdom - Neath

Today, I was forced to listen and politely nod with a smile on my face, as my boss droned on and on, explaining that everything in the universe is slowly getting bigger, aside from him, because he's never felt so short before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 520

You deserved it 2 303

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 668

You deserved it 1 169

By RyoKioKio - 30/05/2017 20:00

Today, just like every day for the past two weeks, my mother has told me just how much she doesn't want me to move out. I, once again, have had to remind her that she isn't the one I'm trying to get away from. I'm not a fan of being repeatedly smacked with a coffee mug by my 78-year-old grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 769

You deserved it 172

By no - 20/03/2014 22:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 772

You deserved it 5 451

So you had a bad date…

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 14:00

Spicy

Today, I got a wax to be sexy for my date, but the whole area came up in this nasty rash with bumps and white spots, nasty as hell. When I told him sex was off the table for a few days, he stopped being charming, spent most of the night on his phone then left early with a bad excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 198

Rookie mistake

By Grounded4Life - 14/08/2021 14:01

Spicy

Today, I got grounded, got my bedroom door taken away and my phone is only allowed before 5 p.m. Never comment how many points you got on a public Facebook post involving a quiz about sex if your mom is friends with you, she’ll see everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 2 042

By Anyonehiring - 28/06/2016 01:05 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had the great pleasure of meeting my replacement, who was sitting at my desk in my office. My boss must've forgotten to mention to me that I've been fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 828

You deserved it 695

The planets made me do it

By c…… - 12/10/2021 08:00

Today, my sister wrecked my car, then blamed it on, "Mercury being in retrograde." FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 61

Planned parenthood

By KittenTitz - 03/05/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 576

By foreverAlone - 04/04/2016 19:40 - United States - Chesapeake Beach

Today, I met a cute girl. She seemed really sweet and I was heartbroken to find out that she had fallen on hard times and was living in a shelter. I asked her if I could take her out to lunch. She said, "No." I can't even get a date with a homeless girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 326

You deserved it 5 191

By B.B - 07/10/2016 14:03 - United States - New York

Today, my husband brought me breakfast in bed. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful and love him even more for the thought. But the only problem with breakfast in bed is that you have to eat what they bring you, even if it's bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 856

You deserved it 1 933

By SomeoneElse - 14/07/2009 13:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 247

You deserved it 3 348

By I_dislike_Twilight - 08/09/2011 12:52 - United States

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 316

You deserved it 4 686

By jazz - 22/01/2010 08:11 - France

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 217

You deserved it 5 736

By Blood on my hands - 07/08/2013 05:40 - United States

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 096

You deserved it 25 682

The Times They Are a-Changin'

By Anonymous - 22/07/2021 16:01

Today, thanks to my ex-husband's misogyny, my son is now convinced girls are inherently weaker and that if he had to, he could beat any woman in a fight, even if she was a trained martial artist or a soldier, because, "Men are the stronger gender." I can kick both their asses, husband and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 225

By WishesWasDeaf - 31/01/2010 01:35 - United States

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 746

You deserved it 3 352

By habsgurl0622 - 08/10/2012 18:57 - United States - Piedmont

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 683

You deserved it 2 992

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 15:55 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 143

You deserved it 6 010

By ClaireBear150 - 20/09/2012 03:09 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 754

You deserved it 6 111

By virgo - 30/01/2010 06:50 - France

Spicy

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 150

You deserved it 6 474

By fuckedover - 26/02/2013 16:43 - United States

Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 372

You deserved it 4 677

By Nate - 12/01/2012 05:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 701

You deserved it 59 042

By Anonymous - 07/06/2015 07:54 - United States - Wheatland

Spicy

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 565

You deserved it 4 369

By Kasnt - 03/10/2010 18:50 - United States

Today, I really had to pee so I took the only stall that was available in the bathroom: the handicapped stall. A girl in a wheelchair came in seconds later and cursed at me for taking her designated spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 455

You deserved it 8 191

By ealovan - 03/03/2014 05:18 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I have exactly 204 snowflakes saved onto my computer, all of which I made on this snowflake-making website. This is what my life has come to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 872

You deserved it 9 657

By pacelily - 30/08/2016 20:32 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors and their 4 kids all under the age of 6. I met them due to all the thudding upstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 859

You deserved it 878

By kmf - 10/08/2009 19:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We start going at it and we were both butt naked when I see a car pull into the lot. Not only is it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asks my girlfriend is "Are you being held against your will?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 688

You deserved it 14 128

By ai_lauren - 19/12/2014 04:04 - United States - Bayonne

Today, I got 3 different rejection letters mailed to me from the same college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 729

You deserved it 3 081

By dogbait - 14/02/2010 05:07 - France

Today, my neighbor's dog bit me, it was extremely painful. The gash in my leg was deep and bleeding like crazy. When I finally got into my house screaming in agonizing pain, my mother said "Quit bitching, walk it off and you'll be fine." My leg is purple now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 888

You deserved it 3 323

By damnit - 27/10/2008 09:08 - United States

Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 990

You deserved it 5 361

I bet you're fun at parties

By Cara - 02/05/2021 23:01

Today, I was at a friend’s birthday party. I slipped and fell onto the table of presents, knocking each one of them over, pulling a muscle in the process. My friend bitched me out for not being careful and “ruining” his presents. I got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 231

By mayerstexmex69 - 08/11/2012 15:52 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 731

You deserved it 2 243

Catch 22

By Claire.L - 10/05/2020 20:00

Today, I gave my boss a two-month notice. He threatened me by saying he wouldn't provide a reference if I quit in July instead of August. I need the reference to pursue my dream to work in the USA as a nanny. I have no other choice, I either work under their pressure or start all over. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 121

By oneillrox - 03/11/2011 20:06 - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet for an x-ray. They found three dollar coins in his stomach. The surgery to remove them is $600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 778

You deserved it 4 374

By UnboundA - 07/06/2016 16:27 - United States - Ruckersville

Today, I loaded up a cart at work with all the things that take me the longest to stock, figuring I'd just get it over with. My manager decided to use that cart to time me and measure my efficiency. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 419

You deserved it 993

By foutu - 21/02/2010 11:52 - France

Spicy

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 635

You deserved it 7 687

How does she know?

By Anonymous - 17/03/2021 08:00

Spicy

Today, my future mother-in-law freaked out my very religious fiancé by telling him fornication is gonna send him to hell, because when I was with them in January we had sex every day for a month and she's still mad about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 321

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:41

Now we wait for the sexist remarks..

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:40

Don't drive over snow banks.

Comments

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:31

hahah

YourEvilHero 12

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:41

I'm pregnant

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:41

what are you? a car theif? mechanic? valet?

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:43

It's times like this when I really love the fact that I live in Texas...

TrollGrammarNazi 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:58

Second

iSitt 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 2:12

Texas summers make me glad to be in ny

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 2:42

ydi for assuming dumbass

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:06

I loved to hear the conversation with the owner. Worker: I crashed your car Car Owner: WTF is your problem bitch! Worker: That'll be $1000 sir.

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:11

lol ya it would be fuckin hilarious

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:31

what does ydi mean????

mooshibear140 4

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:36

it means "You Deserve It."

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:45

ooh I live in va too!<3

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:53

what's op mean

theschweigert 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 4:33

op- original poster

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 4:46

omg congrats!

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:02

what does omg mean?

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:23

rofl^

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:53

thanks mooshibear :)

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 6:35

oh my god you're an idiot!

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 7:28

I dont understand how/why you were backing out someone else's car.

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 7:55

OMG= Ovulating Midget Gerbils.

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 8:04

he was at work, icall_bs. you, sir, are a noobnut beyond belief.

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 8:45

What's a noobnut?

vvn91 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 8:47

ROFL XD

thoughtcrimeno1 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 9:02

p

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 9:06

I'm gonna say mechanic because I don't know any female car thiefs and one probably wouldn't type on fml

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 12:15

ydi for trying to jump snow banks in customers' cars

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 12:19

it says "shop" as in "car shop" like mechanic.

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Thursday 18 February 2010 12:56

what does rofl mean?

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:32

that sucks !

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:54

Kid cudi ftw^

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 2:04

haha yesssssss his man on the moon is amazing:D

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 2:29

haha yea cudi is the best!

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:14

I don't get it....

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:19

Man on the Moon is Kid Cudi's album.

helo2 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:27

Yeh dogma, I didn't laugh. I'm confused

helo2 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:31

Wtf lmao I didn't post to this?

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:33

my name is dogmat. lol

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 6:45

Dogmat is what kind of name?

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 6:50

^shut the fuck up

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 7:06

yungjct is what kind of name?

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 15:31

Damn chill out I meant what origin, or what nationality. Not trying to fight.

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:33

lol haha that sucks

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 22:40

rawr

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:35

dude go to pick and pull! wait, is the car new or old?

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:38

be like "hey i found you front bumper on the ground". wait pulling a car, so it wasnt your car? are you a valet?

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:38

ha

chocobunnyyumyum 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:39

next time, try stepping on the 'snow' before going over it.... ^_^

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:39

female mechanic :D do you have a mullet and wear flannel shirts and wifebeaters?

helo2 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 2:06

lmfao

iSitt 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 2:14

and a mustache ?

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 4:16

quite the ignorant comment to say the least though I know she was kidding... OP probably works for a family business or somtn.

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 5:39

Are you butch? You look butch.

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 6:08

me??? no...:/

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:40

Don't drive over snow banks.

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 2:49

excactly!!

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:41

Now we wait for the sexist remarks..

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:42

i bet she was asian too

BallinOnTheCourt 0

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:45

LOL yeah cus when people confirm stereotypes its always fun :)

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:57

sorry fml i was joking...

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 1:59

Because we all know it is gonna happen

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 2:13

uhoh, it's the Feminazis!

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:07

the asian femanazis

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:11

I should be capitalized.

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:14

Its the Asian Femagrammanazis! I'm so startled!

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:45

Release the rednecks!

boopityboppity 11

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 3:58

demoon, that was the second comment ever that made me laugh. You deserve a cookie.

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 4:02

Lol. What flavor is the cookie?

boopityboppity 11

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 4:23

Ones with crunchy peanut butter and chocolate chips in them. The best kind.

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 4:25

Hell ya!

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Wednesday 17 February 2010 10:18

no demoon! it's a snickerdoodle!

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Thursday 18 February 2010 0:46

A woman. Surprise surprise.

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 47

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 26

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out on Facebook that my mom and step-dad have an open marriage. To make matters worse, my step-dad shamed me for not being more sex positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 113

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 43