Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I went out for lunch with one of my co-workers. After work, I talked to one of my friends about how unpleasant the lunch was with him. My co-worker was standing behind me listening in the whole time. FML
Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML
Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML
Today, my supervisor locked me in the women's bathroom as I was cleaning it. I heard the owner scolding him, so I waited for the door to open, thinking he got in trouble. It wasn't until I heard the front gate locking that I realized I'm staying the night in the bathroom. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, we moved desks for the umpteenth time, and my supervisor stuffed me in a corner by the door with no one around to talk to. The worst thing is I hear the badge reader beep every few seconds. It's already driving me crazy. FML
Today, due to a scheduling error, I spent an entire day and night in an airport, over 30 hours in total. Just as I arrived at the gate, I was informed that my flight had been delayed for another 2 hours. FML
Today, I decided to make new friends, so I sat with the lonely guy at lunch. Now he keeps following me, with his phone in a camera position. FML
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Top comments
odexy 12
You know, instead of whining like a bitch you could look at this in a better perspective. You may have just made that man feels loads better about himself. Venting could have done him the world of good, but I guess that's too much of a burden for you.
talun 10
Hey! You didn't finish your story. Now I have to spend four hours figuring out what you were trying to say..
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Comments (66)
fraqtl 1
man, that's just like this time I was reading FML and this guy wrote one about getting posted with a lonely gate guard.....
Doortje 30
... when I was 5 years old, things got nasty. The father of the foster home I was living in had this weird fetish... He would lift me up and inspect my anus, before bleaching every inch of it. This wouldn't have been so bad if...
sxm 13
the person was just talking to you. this is what's wrong with society these days people never really talk to another and when they do some mother ****** is weirded out.
smiley62060 3
lol!!
TenderWhispers 0
Everything always has to be about you I guess, ever think of someone other than yourself.
crzy4ubaby69 0
Get over it. Everyone needs someone to listen sometimes. I'm sure you've probably done the same.
lordcaliburx 0
... he didn't use the house cat to do it. as the years went on and my poop shoot got cleaner i started to ask questions like where do all the cats go when they are done or why not not bleach my asshole...
Sirin_fml 47
... then it struck me with all the force and fail of a Dane Cook attempt at suppressing his own arrogance. They went over to Perdix' place and had him use his tongue. Sure, the place was covered knee-deep in shit, and had Justin Bieber posters plastered over the sex slave pit, but anything was worth a squeaky-clean asshole. That's when...
Bartimaeus 7
How is this an fml?! F the other guy's life. Seriously, was it THAT BAD? I mean I love stories. Human beings are naturally curious, and if you have nothing else to do (guarding, yeah right) then you might as well show some common courtesy, some damn compassion and freaking listen to the guy! You sound like an atheist or something. Someone who hates their life and job for a dozen other problems that could easily be fixed. Then when you have to hear someone else's story, you get all fed up and refuse to help. Not a team player? Well you're gonna lose in this game we call LIFE. Get one!
kentuckyredneck 10
An Athiest or something? Do know how arrogant you sound?
duburich 0
I'm a gate guard bro I know how it is