Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I went out for lunch with one of my co-workers. After work, I talked to one of my friends about how unpleasant the lunch was with him. My co-worker was standing behind me listening in the whole time. FML
Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML
Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML
Today, my supervisor locked me in the women's bathroom as I was cleaning it. I heard the owner scolding him, so I waited for the door to open, thinking he got in trouble. It wasn't until I heard the front gate locking that I realized I'm staying the night in the bathroom. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, we moved desks for the umpteenth time, and my supervisor stuffed me in a corner by the door with no one around to talk to. The worst thing is I hear the badge reader beep every few seconds. It's already driving me crazy. FML
Today, due to a scheduling error, I spent an entire day and night in an airport, over 30 hours in total. Just as I arrived at the gate, I was informed that my flight had been delayed for another 2 hours. FML
Today, I decided to make new friends, so I sat with the lonely guy at lunch. Now he keeps following me, with his phone in a camera position. FML
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Top comments
odexy 12
You know, instead of whining like a bitch you could look at this in a better perspective. You may have just made that man feels loads better about himself. Venting could have done him the world of good, but I guess that's too much of a burden for you.
talun 10
Hey! You didn't finish your story. Now I have to spend four hours figuring out what you were trying to say..
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Comments (66)
Ranimal 12
You should have said something, now begin the "wanna hangout" phone calls everyday.
kmarrs 2
Aw, come on! Have a heart. You probably made his day.
Juliaa15 6
That's exactly what I thought after I read the FML.
Frickmetinajenks 0
At least he wasn't lonely enough to try and make a move on you.
samadams42 0
hey now you have a total of one friend
Hawkcody1958 1
please answer. what does op mean?
DocBastard 40
Obsequious Platitudes
irosdabetsy 0
original poster
Zebidee 9
Obtuse Physician
Keyman1212 14
Ostentatious Peyote. It's a real show off drug. Good to do in front of those you truly want to impress with your assinine behavior.
McMan 23
Obese Platypuses
bozo92 0
original poster (the person who starts a forum post for example)
wenta 1
obnoxious pig
kittydidit 0
It's not always all about you, you know...
rldostie 19
Ooh, been there. It sucks. It's even worse when you're a chick on an 8 hour shift, and the infantry soldier you happen to be posted with takes this as an 8 hour excuse to find every possible way to hit on you. There's only so many ways you an reject a person in such a time span before things get down right mean.
sparknutz 0
I moderated this.
syki 22
Well? Did he demonstrate years 13+ for you? Or maybe you gave him a new first for his life story. :3