Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I went out for lunch with one of my co-workers. After work, I talked to one of my friends about how unpleasant the lunch was with him. My co-worker was standing behind me listening in the whole time. FML
Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML
Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML
Today, my supervisor locked me in the women's bathroom as I was cleaning it. I heard the owner scolding him, so I waited for the door to open, thinking he got in trouble. It wasn't until I heard the front gate locking that I realized I'm staying the night in the bathroom. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, we moved desks for the umpteenth time, and my supervisor stuffed me in a corner by the door with no one around to talk to. The worst thing is I hear the badge reader beep every few seconds. It's already driving me crazy. FML
Today, due to a scheduling error, I spent an entire day and night in an airport, over 30 hours in total. Just as I arrived at the gate, I was informed that my flight had been delayed for another 2 hours. FML
Today, I decided to make new friends, so I sat with the lonely guy at lunch. Now he keeps following me, with his phone in a camera position. FML
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Top comments
odexy 12
You know, instead of whining like a bitch you could look at this in a better perspective. You may have just made that man feels loads better about himself. Venting could have done him the world of good, but I guess that's too much of a burden for you.
talun 10
Hey! You didn't finish your story. Now I have to spend four hours figuring out what you were trying to say..
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Comments (66)
therealdavid 0
ouch
therealdavid 0
So close to first! DAMN U KOD;)
clarkey 0
Hahahaha
spade1997 0
good for you
mintcar 10
You know what this means correct? You guys are now best friends.
Zebidee 9
Best friend Noun best friend (plural best friends) 1. An especially close and trusted friend.
mintcar 10
Refer to the SpongeBob song for the definition.
Fusionfyt3r 0
ive been there it sucks
therealdavid 0
You went all that time without making an excuse to leave? YDI;)
BloodyHeel 8
What do you think gate-guard means?
OochenSnoochen 15
lol they're glorified couch potatoes.
therealdavid 0
15- So you mean to tell me gate guards can't have their sister get in a "tragic" cat wreck?;) Wow, I better get that job so my sister stays safe;)
tallerguy87 0
if he's referring to the army general order number 1 states: I will guard everything within the limits of my post and quit my post only when properly relived.
arminium 0
I'm afraid of what an ugly cat wreck is
Yeah_Thats_Me 0
I know how you feel! I once had
talun 10
Hey! You didn't finish your story. Now I have to spend four hours figuring out what you were trying to say..
odexy 12
You know, instead of whining like a bitch you could look at this in a better perspective. You may have just made that man feels loads better about himself. Venting could have done him the world of good, but I guess that's too much of a burden for you.
graceless_monkey 0
I totally agree.
Pinkanani 12
#10 is entirely correct! You may have just saved that person's life (perhaps they were thinking about committing suicide) and here you are complaining that you had to listen to them. You sound like a selfish jerk! Always thinking about yourself and no one else! Yeah, I got that from reading your post.
thirdtesticle 0
#10 wins. **** OP.
DjeePee 25
I don't think OP is a selfish jerk. I am already so fed up with a friend of my mom who keeps telling me about his relationship with a drug-addicted, onreliable, lying transvestite. I. Do. Not. Care. At all. I am trying to avoid him, but I'm not always lucky. He starts talking and won't stop. Ugh. Maybe I am saving his life by listening to how his 'ex' lives with a sex maniac, but really, it's none of my business. Those talks are very awkward, and they only last for about ten minutes. I would have died of boredom in those four ours OP went through.
bugmenotmofo 34
**** you
Pinkanani 12
You missed the point I was making 49. Clearly it was never stated that OP already knew the other person.
Jimboom 12
Awww, you made a fwiend. At least you can say with all honesty that you are the most interesting person in the room for once.
Doortje 30
Just say you have a headache, or just go "hmhm, uhuh" all the time while thinking about the groceries you need to buy later, what to make for dinner tonight etc.