Love: Today, I was on webcam for the first time with a guy I've been...

By ditsy - 15/07/2010 09:17 - United States

Today, I was on webcam for the first time with a guy I've been texting for a while. Trying to show off my guitar skills, I lean down to pick it up and fell on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 736

You deserved it 28 043

Love

Compromises

Not the sharpest tool

Marriage going well is it?

By kids - 12/05/2014 05:17

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 723

You deserved it 5 613

Skinny issues

By maisie - 31/03/2021 21:30

Today, after a few months of trying to gain weight due to being severely underweight, I got a stomach flu and lost every single pound I put on, and then some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 52

By EmbarrassedBather - 09/06/2019 00:00

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 899

You deserved it 324

By Unreality - 26/01/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 961

You deserved it 3 545

By Anonymous - 26/11/2010 17:31 - United States

Today, I camped outside of a Best Buy to guarantee I'd get a cheap Blu Ray player. My friend who got there five minutes after they opened also managed to get one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 333

You deserved it 41 131

By roomatewoes - 01/04/2013 00:45 - United States - Northfield

Today, I came back to my dorm to find my roommate forgot to get rid of her massive amounts of cheese before break. She did, however, remember to unplug the refrigerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 620

You deserved it 2 099

Where is it?

By beezybees - 20/02/2010 01:54 - United States

Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 388

You deserved it 2 857

By sexychica - 21/07/2009 17:45 - United States

Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 297

You deserved it 6 331

By Decker - 14/02/2010 01:04 - United States

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 997

You deserved it 5 522

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 23:04 - United States

Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 026

You deserved it 2 834

By Anonymous - 13/06/2015 14:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 390

You deserved it 5 547

By Anonymous - 17/09/2011 08:17 - South Africa

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 301

You deserved it 51 838

By Wronged - 21/09/2009 10:53 - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 450

You deserved it 3 558

By Anonymous - 16/01/2012 14:15 - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend passed out on the floor. Then I passed out, due to anxiety of seeing him passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 200

You deserved it 6 147

By boss stabber - 04/01/2015 06:52 - United States - Kings Beach

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 449

You deserved it 2 457

By thanksmom - 20/07/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 672

You deserved it 4 097

By ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - 06/07/2014 20:27 - United States - Wakefield

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 011

You deserved it 5 979

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 583

You deserved it 4 658

By Screwed - 26/05/2009 07:48 - South Africa

Today, I was looking online for an alternative number for the interior decorator that is making curtains for me because I couldn't get hold of him. Instead of his number I found a website warning people about him, saying he is a conman. I paid a very big deposit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 379

You deserved it 19 221

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 01:54 - United States

Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 027

You deserved it 3 095

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 08/06/2021 10:59

Today, my husband seems to think sex once a month is adequate, and that it’s acceptable to nap on the sofa once he gets home from work, wake up for dinner, then go straight to bed. I also can’t speak to him while he’s eating, because he’s watching tv. I thought I had a husband, not a roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 158

By aloha - 12/03/2010 21:17 - France

Today, I landed in Hawaii for my vacation. I have a really bad ear infection, and to top my day off, my girlfriend blurted out mid-flight that she thinks we're not going to work out. Aloha! FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 138

You deserved it 2 166

By ConfusedGirl - 15/12/2015 13:03 - United States - Pittsford

Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 056

You deserved it 2 214

By brokebihhhh - 02/01/2017 09:22 - United States

Today, I decided to catch a flight to see my boyfriend, who is stationed in the army 300 miles away. When I was just 15 minutes from the base he called to say that we should break up. Now I'm heading back to California, single and broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 877

You deserved it 628

By UnluckyArtist - 14/09/2009 18:54 - United States

Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 168

You deserved it 6 440

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 18/07/2020 14:01

Today, I thought I finally had a decent boyfriend. He didn’t seem like an emotionally unavailable alcoholic like my past boyfriends. Then I found out he’s an unemployed Trump supporter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 736

By Golden~ - 01/06/2011 09:20 - Canada

Today, I found out that the school principal takes all the money from the school fund raisers to buy herself donuts. I'd donated over $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 245

You deserved it 5 376

Do it again!

By immy504 - 30/11/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled, "NINJA WAITRESS!" Everyone at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 224

You deserved it 5 913

Road rage

By Justwantedathankyou - 18/08/2017 06:00 - United States - Loudon

Today, I noticed that an SUV forgot to put their gas cap back on, so I tried honking and flashing my lights to get their attention. They slammed on their brakes, causing me to rear-end them. So much for good karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 511

You deserved it 1 288

Dream baby dream

By CJ. - 05/05/2021 14:01 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 1 214

By Jeanna S. - 23/11/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 384

You deserved it 28 179

By Anonymous - 14/04/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 360

You deserved it 4 874

By ghost? - 16/12/2012 08:31 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 443

You deserved it 2 932

By Anonymous - 04/02/2011 20:13 - United States

Today, while stocking shelves with canned goods, a kid no older than ten ran down the aisle, knocking down everything in his path. He was followed by his mother who was laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 657

You deserved it 2 734

By mazey93 - 09/12/2016 19:14 - United Kingdom - Newport

Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 994

You deserved it 767

By Lua - 28/06/2016 17:09 - France - Laon

Today, my friends renamed my dog, “Dog Vader.“ Yes, my dog has asthma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 318

You deserved it 909

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 491

You deserved it 5 078

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 15:00

Today, I got back to my car with a note cussing me out for parking in a disabled space when I’m clearly not disabled. They also smashed my windows. It’s true, I’m not disabled, but I also wasn’t parked in a disabled space. I was parked in a normal space next to the disabled spaces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 070

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 12/08/2009 02:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 709

You deserved it 3 268

Little shit

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 20:01 - Malaysia

Today, I went to the graveyard with my little brother to visit my grandfather's grave. While we were there, my brother suddenly asked me, "Can you die now? I hate you." He's 7 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 96

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Top comments

justsayfuck 5

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Thursday 15 July 2010 16:02

Every FML which says 'trying to show off' is immediately a YDI.

sampimpinthug 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 15:59

wow that sux! but its only on the cam so no biggie

sampimpinthug 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 15:59

wow that sux! but its only on the cam so no biggie

airborn54 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 16:02

shit like that happens to me all the time, so what?

Shyammy92 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 16:09

lol I've done "worse" things on a cam XD

OhWowFYLindeed 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 16:19

Oh no, the embarrasment. -_-

bballchamp43 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 16:28

Agreed not that big of a deal. More proof that we need a "Who Cares?" button.

swalch43 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 16:52

hahah that happened to me one time when I was playing at a concert, I still have a scar just below my lip

Brittneyyyy 7

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Thursday 15 July 2010 16:58

If he really likes you, he'll think it's cute :)

Brittneyyyy 7

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Thursday 15 July 2010 17:02

^ What? And we almost have the same b-day.

Averizzle 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 17:03

#14 Are you a chat roulette masturbator? O god..

Jessicaa96145 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 18:26

aha, 40 - I do that all the time.. thought i was the only one..

sircletus 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 18:54

you don't stage dive if there's no audience dumbass op.

chenoa_fml 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 19:35

lol I'd be super embarrassed, but it would give the both of us something to laugh about ^_^ or at least that's what I would do..

chocolatedrop 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 20:04

ydi because maybe he didnt even want to see your skills

youngrob 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 20:13

I don't know about you other guys but I don't find girls anymore attractive then they are when they play a guitar.

xsam4296x 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 20:49

I agree with 25. Not a good fml.

JohnGraveline 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 21:23

I have played my banjo on chatroulette. I play a different tune for every person. except those damn dicks.

khadijah32594 3

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Thursday 15 July 2010 21:31

shit happens

rawr_iliketacos 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 23:32

you deserve ot for starting out in past tense and ending in present. I hate you.

ceno 0

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Friday 16 July 2010 0:44

number 14s hawt

Stevefett 0

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Friday 16 July 2010 2:23

At least you didn't fart.

NatDancer2010 0

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Friday 16 July 2010 3:19

chat roulette o.O

mells105 0

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Saturday 17 July 2010 8:05

I can tell OP is like 40

ThatGuyWithHair 0

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Saturday 21 August 2010 5:16

Or a "Quit Whining" Button.

imasummerloverx3 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 15:59

you must be a pretty clumsy person to pull that off...

JBubbleHead 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 16:05

Agreed lol. How can you fall on your face by simply trying to pick up a guitar??

FYLyo 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 17:40

chat roulette ftw

sabatical 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 18:26

showin off yer 'g' string haha

OhBaby19 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 21:10

win^

Sticxz 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 22:33

lol #53 soooooo win

slushpup9696 12

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Sunday 18 July 2010 2:55

apparently, picking up a guitar counts as skills.

Bettydoll 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 15:59

fail. epic fail.

OhBaby19 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 20:15

i would have laughed at myself & gotten over it, who cares!?

Stevefett 0

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Friday 16 July 2010 5:11

69- Thats something that pretty people can do. If an ugly person did that it would just be sad. Maybe OP is uggo!!

justsayfuck 5

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Thursday 15 July 2010 16:02

Every FML which says 'trying to show off' is immediately a YDI.

carpediem9_fml 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 16:03

agreed

Anextase 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 16:17

Agreed. Every FML with "trying to____" anything is an automatic YDI.

Slappyzezima 0

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Thursday 15 July 2010 19:43

justsayfuck you are THE ugliest THING I have ever seen!!!! you're disgusting!!!

nerdsgetmehot 22

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Thursday 15 July 2010 19:47

#65 She clearly isn't at all ugly and disgusting as you suggest. Don't go around bashing other peoples' appearance just to make yourself feel superior.

OzzyTheGiant 14

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Sunday 20 March 2016 16:13

that may be so, but I honestly think she did not deserve it. Its not like she wasnt trying to be herself; she just wanted to make the guy admire her. She would have deserved it if she was trying to show off to a crowd just to get attention