Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML
Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML
Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML
Today, I travelled by myself for the first time. I was seated next to a middle-aged man who was trying to convince me that I was his soulmate, kept touching my face and sniffing me. I'm 19 and it was a 6 hour flight. FML
Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML
Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML
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Top comments
JZhang91 0
his body is ready
MzMegs 20
Gotta hate perverts. :(
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Comments (254)
gibby1235 6
well that sucks. (meant to be sarcastic) I don't see how this is an fml. so your sitting next to a perverted guy it's not going to be the end of the world. and if u posted this fml than it shows that your little incident with him has passed so u should be ok. but if u were really bothered by it u could have asked for a different seat or at least slapped him so he could know not to act like that around u.
gibby1235 6
why moderate my comment? it wasn't bad or offensive at all.
KangarooKovuMD 0
Did you tell him that airplanes in the night sky aren't shooting stars, and his wish won't be granted?
googlegirl496 0
you are a ninja
maddieclaire 0
Winn :D
leogecko32 0
lol that song was stuck in my head and I was sayin that line as I reas it
Quagmire_ladies 9
hahahaha!!!! Nice!
Bananaque 0
what a nasty perv!
D13g0 0
maybe he likes turbulance? and hes got a lazy eye...?:)
ortega_fml 0
but most importantly... was there turbulance? YDI if there wasn't turbulance.
gravygecko 2
Was it Tommy Lee? I'm pretty sure he flies first class and that sounds exactly like something he would say.
allupinyourmama 0
Ooooooh! Free peanuts AND free hepatitis! Gotta love first class.
2crazy2care 0
I hope you slapped him
mockingjay_fml 0
LOL
bubblezz0504 0
haha. typical male...
cheech99 0
u should have token first class instead of coach
bachooka 5
she did take first class.
harmoo_fml 0
fail.
boopityboppity 11
FOUND: TOKEN (1st Class) IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!