Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML
Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML
Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML
Today, I travelled by myself for the first time. I was seated next to a middle-aged man who was trying to convince me that I was his soulmate, kept touching my face and sniffing me. I'm 19 and it was a 6 hour flight. FML
Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML
Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML
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Top comments
JZhang91 0
his body is ready
MzMegs 20
Gotta hate perverts. :(
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Comments (254)
Alpha35 4
HAHAH YES THAT GUY IS A CHAMP !!!! but seriously though you should've taw kwon doh'ed him in the throat for that
googlegirl496 0
duck face
criminalmind 10
Tae Kwon-do
Mylees 0
what the he'll is taw kwon don
sourgirl101 29
Long Duck Dong
illmatic2 16
You're stupid if you thought he was serious.
illmatic2 16
^^ Thats not supposed to be there.
Stupified 0
He's Asian, be careful!
mwilliamson321 0
stay off the steroids you can tell by your fore arms
CitrusGirl 0
but Stupifued, if he was really Asian he'd no how to spell martial arts forms correctly... he's obviously a fake!
EricErection69 0
well I would say it would be funny if your boob hit him in the face during turbulence >:)
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
"... the DANE COOK of martial arts?!"
ceejster 0
108. Thant a burn
zamato 0
Only a dyke would be upset over the man's compliment. Don't sit there and pretend like you didn't like what he said. You ain't fooling anyone. YDI 4 being a total bitch.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Right. Because all of us women LOOOOVE creepy old men staring at our ****. Moron.
PirateGirl12 11
I agree with that I just wanna punch men who stare
nadia716 3
lmao. it sounds like a compliment really. ;] team tig ol bitties.
RainbowBitch15 11
17: first, you are really pretty. second, your comment FTW! xD
sweetcheeksjvl 0
lesbians smh....:] Team tig ol bitties all the way!
theuglyone906 4
AGREED. It does sound like a compliment, 17. XD
DoomedGemini 38
Yeah compliment of a man staring at your chest and being creepy.. It's disgusting how many people say this is a compliment, it's not. The guy is being a total creep.
zemo999 0
call the stewardess and report terrorist threats...
Mylees 0
shed end up in jail for that, you dumbass
dius 0
you're really stupid for even suggesting that
FaberDriveLuv 5
Well...that's just great ._.
KylaaKatastrophe 0
Lights is sooo friggin hottt. just sayin.
zemo999 0
or flash him and eat his heart out...(so u got a nice set of twins???) :-/
MassEffectNerd 0
he was just saying what every dude thinks *shrugs*
danipoo4u 0
Haha that's so funny.
FYLDeep 26
"I hope the mile high club is accepting new members."
raithex 0
^win.
AudaciouslyInsan 0
Haha, you should have said, "I sure hope not, I get airsickness so if it gets too bad will I be allowed to use your puke bag too? It could get bad and I don't want it everywhere."