Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
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Top comments
jackwilliams 9
I love it when stereotypical gender roles get reversed
NebulaNick 12
Fire back
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Comments (143)
StephenStrangeMD 3
She's a keeper bruh.
StressedDesserts 17
That's the kind of relationship i want to be in, marry her!
Sparx1_1 16
Girls fart - not sure why this is a problem for you OP. Everybody farts, even if you hold it in all day you will just fart in your sleep and it will smell just as bad. The gas does not magically disappear if you hold it in and it can be very painful to try. You need to decide if it was the fact that she farted or the fact that she thinks it was funny that bothered you the most. If you don't have the same sense of humour that's a problem you can solve. If you're upset that she farted at all then you are the one with the problem.
doubleofuck 20
Could be that she is so comfortable to be around you she doesn't feel self conscious about bodily functions. In that case good for you, not so much your sinuses, but your relationship.
orangeink25 3
what a pig, dump her on the spot.
thatcoolguy123 14
...Okay then...
LadyTyger51ne 8
At least she's got a sense of humor lol
nialls_girl 13
Lovely day in paradise...
x3sarax3 17
Hahahahah. Sounds like me.. Sorry not sorry
1ch4bod_Cr4n3 6
omg that's funny. I would of farted in her face and fired back!