Money: Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my...

By Anonymous - 03/01/2015 21:16 - United States - Newark

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 022

You deserved it 2 265

Money

Leave us alone

Dementia or hate? You decide

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Swatted - 17/02/2015 06:39 - United States - Sparks

Today, a model I've been working on for an art competition was declined. They thought I was being insensitive and "rudely glorifying 9/11". My model was about the ending scene of King Kong. I spent twenty hours on that model. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 189

You deserved it 2 922

By Saphira - 11/11/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 184

You deserved it 8 049

Broken vibrator

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 023

You deserved it 247

Eat the rich

By dysfunctional_ravenclaw - 01/06/2017 15:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving up to a Four Seasons, not to stay, but to attend a work event that was already paid for. I did look a little out of place in my Toyota Corolla amongst the luxury SUVs, but was nonplussed when a man came up to me, knocked on my window, and said, "The Motel 6 is over there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 744

You deserved it 423

New relations

By Pat - 22/09/2020 04:01 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out my newly-divorced father is now going to marry my girlfriend's mother. Tough situation here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 64

By Anonymous - 05/05/2012 21:16 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my husband and I went on vacation. We got lost and had to ask the locals for directions to our hotel. Neither of us could understand their accents, and we ended up wandering around blindly for hours until we made it back on our own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 20 739

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 544

You deserved it 3 110

By secretdoll - 09/11/2010 07:51 - United States

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 533

You deserved it 3 968

By Anonymous - 19/10/2015 09:26 - United States - Lexington

Today, my husband won't seek medical treatment for a condition he's been living with for years because he saw an episode of House, in which the treatment made the condition worse in a very rare instance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 974

You deserved it 1 807

By Anonymous - 29/09/2015 22:50 - United States - Howell

Today, my mom was watching me during my Taekwondo lessons. She was yelling at me to focus on my own work and to quit hanging out with the little kids. I'm the instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 785

You deserved it 1 782

Suspicious

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 11:01

Today, I found out why I’ve been covering most of the bills and the rent. Turns out my boyfriend is paying a very expensive OnlyFans subscription for his female bestie. When I confronted him about it, he responded by yelling, “It’s not like that!” and punched our glass patio door, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 194

I guess that's why they call it an intravitreal injection

By Anonymous - 13/02/2021 08:02

Today, the eye doctor told me I only had 90% vision on my left eye, and asked if I wanted treatment. Not being terribly bothered by it, I asked what the treatment would consist of. "We'll stick a large needle in your eye, and pump in some medicine." I quickly wished him a pleasant day and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 157

By WTF Mom - 21/05/2018 01:30

Today, I discovered the reason my 12-year-old brother has been anxious and afraid of cops for the last 6 months. My crazy mother convinced him that porn is illegal and comes with a death penalty. She did the same thing to me when I was his age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 950

You deserved it 458

By Not dying. - 21/04/2015 07:55 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 957

You deserved it 10 852

By Caqtusmonkey - 25/08/2016 15:28 - United States - Arlington

Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 723

You deserved it 1 782

Whoops

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 02:55 - United States

Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 094

You deserved it 6 320

By cali - 24/11/2010 06:08 - United States

Today, I had just finished writing my rough draft essay, so I went to sit by the pond. A giant moth suddenly flew down and attacked me, causing me to drop my binder in the pond, ruining the essay. I discovered in the aftermath that the moth was actually a leaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 853

You deserved it 33 263

By Anonymous - 19/06/2009 19:00 - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I have a nervous tendency to rub my foot against the bar under the table. After the interview I noticed I had been rubbing my foot against the interviewer's leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 444

You deserved it 39 262

By nato - 27/11/2012 13:16 - United States

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 202

You deserved it 2 326

By Sleep. - 27/11/2014 07:06 - United States - Imperial

Today, I finally got time to take a nap. Later, my mom asked me if I was depressed because I didn't leave my room for 3 hours. She talked to my dad about it, and now my family thinks I'm depressed because I slept for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 431

You deserved it 2 743

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 16:51 - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 079

You deserved it 2 376

By Chloe - 20/12/2010 18:08 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 955

You deserved it 65 610

Karma sucks

By gagus123 - 12/11/2019 14:00

Today, I pretended to be sick at the office and went home early because I wanted to attend a party. On the way to the said party, my car caught fire on the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 2 094

By ritualdevice - 15/12/2009 08:30 - France

Today, I have to train people overseas to do my job. If I succeed in teaching them what they need to know, then they get my job and I get fired. If they don't perform well, then as the trainer I get blamed, and get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 940

You deserved it 2 231

By oblivious idiot - 12/02/2016 07:50

Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 524

You deserved it 7 159

By fuck you, dad - 27/09/2012 18:36 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 641

You deserved it 6 273

By Anonymous - 17/08/2009 22:11 - Canada

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 741

You deserved it 22 625

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 05:03 - United States - Woodland Hills

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 537

You deserved it 6 219

By agentile - 02/12/2010 01:14 - United States

Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a v-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year old grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 613

You deserved it 60 366

By doomed - 21/04/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, I got a letter from my mother-in-law stating that demons made her spread rumors about me all over my hometown before my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 937

You deserved it 2 499

By StrawHatBill - 13/02/2015 14:54 - United States

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 217

You deserved it 8 344

By vividrabbit - 12/07/2009 13:29 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 814

You deserved it 4 976

By atomwolf - 09/12/2016 17:01 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 981

You deserved it 11 953

Weird-ass kids

By fml9124 - 05/12/2020 02:02

Today, my Asian girlfriend broke up with me because I'm not Asian, I'm Irish-American, 100%. She doesn't have a problem with me, though. It's her kids. Her grown children want her dating Asian men. She's 62, I'm 63. Is that like reverse racism when the kids are more racist than the parents? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 87

By Stevo - 18/06/2010 07:13 - United States

Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 493

You deserved it 11 874

By catherine - 17/06/2011 11:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped my camera into water. The good news is that it's waterproof. The bad news is I dropped it off London Bridge. All the pictures and videos of my four-month trip around Europe were on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 187

You deserved it 12 396

Ominous

By IloveMaroon5 - 07/06/2011 06:48 - United States

Today, I found out that if your boss unfriends you on Facebook, it's probably not a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 812

You deserved it 4 389

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 10:32 - United States

Today, I was insulted online by a teenager who said that I was probably a fat loser that still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 193

You deserved it 58 273

By curvster daughter - 02/11/2013 18:46 - United States

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 296

You deserved it 6 933

Follow instructions

By Anonymous - 30/10/2009 15:36 - United States

Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 262

You deserved it 10 939

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

AnOriginalName 19

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:21

"I'm just writing this because someone saw and I want to make it look like I'm giving you my details. Have fun with repairs!"

singer0421 32

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:20

Classic "pretend to write a note so I'm not suspicious" move. People will do anything to get out of trouble. Sorry, OP.

NebulaNick 12

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:19

Sorry OP that really sucks, hopefully karma will get them back for you

kipperin 18

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:23

Maybe you can check if there were security camera and ask the supermarket manager for the footage.

capnbzarr 43

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 19:16

Bingo. Even if you can't spot the cameras, most supermarkets do have cameras recording the parking lot.

singer0421 32

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:20

Classic "pretend to write a note so I'm not suspicious" move. People will do anything to get out of trouble. Sorry, OP.

AnOriginalName 19

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:21

"I'm just writing this because someone saw and I want to make it look like I'm giving you my details. Have fun with repairs!"

cassieoco 9

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:21

Some people are real jerks. Im sorry OP

RobinGoodfellow 47

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:21

People are awful.

Sterling_1s 8

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:21

What a waste of good ink and paper.

joe3_fml 15

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:22

what a gentleman.

_kyleG_ 34

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:27

It's expensive to fix a serious ding, but your integrity should be worth it

Darkblade21 20

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 10:42

What does his integrity have to do with any of this?

VeganVampyre 26

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 12:44

Not OP's integrity, the integrity of the jerk who wouldn't own up to hitting someone's car. #9 is saying the person who hit OP's car should have had the integrity to pay for the damage even though it might be really expensive. And I agree, I don't know why they got thumbed down for that.

JayGatsby 25

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 22:35

#20, I think the reason he was thumbed down was because the way his comment was phrased made it sounds like he was talking about OP's integrity.

rhcpgurl 18

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:36

Go to the management of whatever parking lot it was at ( I'm hoping a place of business). Ask for the tapes and file a police report because that was technically a hit and run. Keep the note as proof. If there are no cameras then FYL man

kaotic_angel88 24

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:40

it depends. sometimes police wont do anything due to it being private property. I know the same thing.happened to my ex, and police couldnt do anything about it, even with the guys license plate.

rhcpgurl 18

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:41

Very true. But i hope for OPs sake something can be done you know?

VeganVampyre 26

Send a private message

Sunday 4 January 2015 12:53

Where I live, anything that happens in any parking lot is automatically considered equal fault and everyone involved has to pay their own damages, because no one technically has the right of way in a parking lot. So even if someone hits your parked car while you're not even there, it's officially considered half your fault and they wouldn't have to pay to fix it for you. I don't what the rules are where OP lives though, hopefully something can be done!

soulreaper12296 28

Send a private message

Monday 5 January 2015 3:32

#21, wtf kind of rule is that? So pretty much they're like "Even though you were legally parked there and parked correctly, because of our rule, it's partially your fault your car got it.