Love: Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic,...

By allgassedout - 04/01/2015 00:23 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 384

You deserved it 7 340

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By DSM - 14/03/2009 11:05 - United States

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 807

You deserved it 117 375

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 4 531

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 385

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 104

You deserved it 41 479

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 986

You deserved it 4 320

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 768

You deserved it 1 668

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 531

You deserved it 1 600

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 727

You deserved it 36 347

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 00:12 - United States

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 160

You deserved it 2 911

Gas wars

By Ali - 04/10/2020 23:02

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 365

jackwilliams 9

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:20

I love it when stereotypical gender roles get reversed

NebulaNick 12

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:18

Fire back

Comments

_kyleG_ 34

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:28

Weeeell, at least she's comfortable with you

SEROKE 13

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:33

That stinks.

milehigh52 22

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:44

This could be a good or bad thing depending on how long you two have been together.

ehllychan 10

Sunday 4 January 2015 15:45

If you have been together long enough to be in the same bed, you've been together long enough to smell their farts.

Jasim 17

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:50

I didn't know girls fart!

Steffi 26

Sunday 4 January 2015 10:08

Girls don't, OP's "girlfriend" is secretly a boy.

Mightytall 35

Sunday 4 January 2015 10:40

It's a ruse... They hold the farts in so they don't fart in public, but man are they ripe if they ever let them out....

cheeeksss 29

Sunday 4 January 2015 11:13

We shit too.

mike762414 6

Sunday 4 January 2015 11:14

Max, you're a lying asshole

Erebus_Terror 12

Sunday 4 January 2015 12:15

#28: oh no you di'int!

sstahpp 33

Sunday 11 January 2015 1:54

I fart daily.

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:50

That's an open declaration of war if ever there was one. Commence operation flatulence! Fire up the dutch ovens and launch all SBD's!

HardRock_fml 6

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:53

awww, she knows you love her for her beauty but she wants to make sure you love what's inside, too.

dylanhasemann 9

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:55

Well that's unFARTunate...

AshleeDanielle_ 11

Sunday 4 January 2015 10:26

That's love.

Enslaved 36

Sunday 4 January 2015 10:31

Which hair were you sniffing?

LiNdSaY2 5

Sunday 11 January 2015 19:21

Lmao!

Mightytall 35

Sunday 4 January 2015 10:39

Girl farts are the worst!

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The Top

Today, my roommate started packing up for when we move out in August. Thirty boxes later, I realized she's leaving me with only a dishtowel and a skillet while she traipses through Europe for the summer. She even packed the silverware. And the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 358

You deserved it 476

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 258

You deserved it 2 123

The Top

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 515

You deserved it 4 910

Today, my mother screamed at me for the millionth time for “giving her a dirty look” as if I could see my own face. I’m just tired. I just wish people would pay attention to my words and not my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 117

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 927

You deserved it 6 225

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 987

You deserved it 18 147

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 221

You deserved it 6 118

Today, after a shitty day, I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. When I grabbed the salt container, the bottom lid came off and the salt went everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 930

You deserved it 363

Same thing different taste

Gas wars

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