Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today at university, I saw a girl on crutches struggling to make it up the stairs to the dining center. Feeling sympathetic, I politely offered to help her with her bags, and she declined. By declined, I mean she maced me. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML
Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML
Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML
Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
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Top comments
youllnvrkno 8
Moral of the story, Never judge a book by its cover.
DragonDude 24
Did you suck it?
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Comments (340)
yerrkiddingme 2
sorry op you shouldnt be a bitch about what people wear.
xnikkilynn 11
Yupp, you deserved for making it to university and haven't learned how to stop judging people. I would have told you the same thing.
jwcalifo 4
You absolutely deserved that you judgmental prick! haha
demonfacee 14
You shouldn't be judging people based off their looks or if they smoke or not.
Toolishing 22
Unless you're from a time period where no one knew the consequences of smoking, yes, I will judge your ass for smoking. Your harming yourself, and subjecting anyone around you to harmful smoke and disgusting smells.
kendrox 12
Half you people don't wash your hands after using the restroom and you're judging smokers?
icaneverwin 3
So you think you are better than her because she doesn't wear clothes you approve of? Or the fact she likes to smoke, which is HER choice only? Your attitude was far worse than hers, go suck another thousand dicks please.
xnikkilynn 11
Amen
TheGreatPotato 19
It is indeed her choice, but you can't deny that second hand smoke is disgusting and potentially damaging to the lungs of those who choose not to smoke.
GentlemanBastard 15
A bag of dicks. A thousand bags of a thousand dicks apiece.
icaneverwin 3
Yes #38, but there are a lot of other things that are bad for us, like car exhausts, etc etc. Not to mention all the trees we cut down, sand that we take from deep down the ocean, oil spills and all that, which is harmful for the whole world, but we are not going to stop anytime soon because we just can't live without our little luxuries such as paper and cars. Ah and airplanes! How are we supposed to go on a holiday without them?! But hey, cigarettes, that's what we should be concerned about... TL;DR - we are all hypocrites.
kinky44 28
@43 And yet people still buy cigarettes to slowly poison themselves. Fun, right?
Nicholas12 15
this person could possibly die before they have a chance to be successful because of the smoking so it doesn't matter how good they do in school
bighood24 17
63- and yet people still buy cars that put harmful exhaust fumes into the air to poison us as well. people should get off their high horse, just because they decide not to smoke doesn't give them the right to say anything to someone that does smoke
ClassyCataclasis 4
Deep ocean sands?
TurquoiseJesus 15
43, society wouldn't completely stop functioning if cigarettes suddenly disappeared though, would it?
Meettitan 14
I didn't realize every FMLer treats their body like a temple, with no exception whatsoever.
brand125 17
151 - thats a completly stupid thing to say, since the odds are that they will live long enough to atleast pursue their career is great enough. implying they dont need to study and contribute to the world because they wont make it makes you sound like a ****** ****
DeeTrain420 11
I agree. Go suck a lemon!!
Noreason89 6
I think I'm in love
cristy91 33
Woah buddy, where do you get off telling people they don't represent the school positively? If anything you're giving the message that your university is pretentious and judges people based on their appearance, which is waaaaay worse than someone behaving outside of social norm.
Ardeku 15
Well said.
Kasanovastar 18
How did you get all the way to university and still not learn to reserve judgement? I say YDI... Although, the other persons response was hostile too.
rocker_chick23 27
Didn't your mother ever tell you "Never judge a book by its cover?" or "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?"
XBurytheCastleX 25
And that's what I like in a girl... Other than the smoking. Don't judge a book by its cover asshole!
XBurytheCastleX 25
My comment wasn't bad. Have a problem with the word 'asshole'?