Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TurboKill1 0
She's a keeper, haha.
AliSama 17
unless she is drunk 24/7 it;s a joke. grow up.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
jSOPURE 3
Healthly Relationships & Humor FTW.
tonce6701 0
ahahhah dont worry ..i'm always saying things like this to my bf and he knows im joking...otherwise i wouldnt be with him
vgeorge707 0
ahhh, thats pretty funny.
nonymous_fml 0
haha, I agree with some of the previous posts, she's most likely joking. Or maybe you met her at a party and she's just teasing/joking? Whatever, she has a cute sense of humor
CAITx4OH1xCORE 0
lmao. im going to use something along the lines of this the next time my boyfriend asks me.
twotwelve 0
i'm using that one too. or some form of it like "i was on a LOT of prescription medications"..
Meta_fml 0
I think she's funny and was just joking around with you! In fact, I'm going to use that. :D
DaBluedude 0
Lol story of my life...
24788 7
This one has to be a joke. I don't think she was serious if she's still with you.
Taolan 23
i love your girlfriend, dude!