Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML
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Top comments
TurboKill1 0
She's a keeper, haha.
AliSama 17
unless she is drunk 24/7 it;s a joke. grow up.
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Comments (75)
lakergurl91 0
Burn!! LMFAO!! But you still got her!! Smile Jesus loves you =)
bigraws23 0
What would be worse is if you got her knocked up so she stayed with. Then if she had a miscarriage...
Daizu 0
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
ghost010 6
I don't really get why this is a fml, she's still with you, she could've just left if she didn't want to be with you
jammer1379 2
i look at her and said*
CuteGinger 2
Thank you for pointing that out!
sucks4u918 4
aw|: she was prolly kidding tho
beren456 1
She's kidding, she's drunk, or she has no one else, otherwise why would she still be with you?
Wazilla 0
he ask how did get her, so that means if she wasnt drunk at the time abd was sober she would have rejected him, but becuase she wasnt sober she got with him and is happy that she didnt reject him
ingclassy 0
Ha! She must still be drunk. Keep a six-pack handy. She must just cheat on you when she's sober. Show some confidence, poon.
awfulwaffles 0
I was showing a purse I wanted to my mom. She looked at it and said "that's hideous. But I guess it reminds me of you."