Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML
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Top comments
TurboKill1 0
She's a keeper, haha.
AliSama 17
unless she is drunk 24/7 it;s a joke. grow up.
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Comments (75)
naiveprophet 15
oh, she was probably only kidding. Don't take it so personally. If she was really just drunk she probably wouldn't still be with you. trust me, I've got that same sardonic quality
Ordinary_Zena 0
lol my boyfriend asked me out when I was drunk too
redroses5 0
hahahahaha
IndigoKitty 3
Got with my bf when i was drunk. almost 2 years later, I'm stil wondering how the hell it happened XD lol
Zic_fml 7
Today, somone had had a sense of humour and I did not. FML
fml147 0
aww thats terrible.
Sciamachy 0
At least she didn't say "I was drunk", get up & leave, adding, over her shoulder as she left "But I'm sober now & you're dumped!" - even if she was drunk, she's stuck by her decision & likes you enough to stay. Grow up.
bongo200 1
Probably just a joke, dont take it to seriously
arms_akimbo 0
You need to man up, cowboy.
lesb_lv 0
was she drunk when you met?