By Anonymous - Reserved
Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML
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  Iamnotmyself  |  17

What has happened to our rights as humans? Can a man not walk to a store and buy chocolate for his starving family without being hit by a water cannon? Can a child not play with his toy ball in the front yard without being fined for littering in the sidewalk if he leaves it there? Can I not pay a woman for favors in the back of my car?

  Keyman1212  |  14

Way to water down the situation, everyone knows you were going to the corner store to get condoms for your mum because she got a random call from some cute guy she never met. Maybe you should have run like you were getting your hair cut, that way you wouldn't have gotten sprayed all the way to California, where you'd be missed by your creeper uncle who'd cry while jacking off thinking about you, and because he had cuts on his dick from shaving his pubes. I hope you didn't tell your cat this story, because he already had to listen to bitching from your 'religious' parents about how Granny has a new boytoy.

By  SoSickWithIt  |  14

This reminds me of a certain scene in Scary Movie 2, where they were stuck in some sort of freezer type room, the dude ended up getting a hand job, and exploded and propelled the girl with what looked like a fire extinguisher going off, and her going flying back into the wall.