Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Mega creep
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML
Pet peeve
Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML
Objectification
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML
Thanks a bunch
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Battery
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Top comments
fretforyerlatte 0
well, you kinda asked for that one.
mcsnelly 5
Okay yeah that sounded really bad but everyone's said something without thinking about it and it sounded dirty...you DEFINITELY don't deserve to be hit on constantly just because you made a slip up like that!
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Comments (110)
mallknox 0
that sucks, something similar happened to me in high school. only i said i had 'tough knees' i was called TK for 2 years.....
OppositesAttract_fml 0
Awh haha. (: You definately don't deserve it, I do stuff like that all the time. Actually, I said something similar to that one time by accident... luckily it was to my girlfriend, though. xD
RJB 0
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! btw she said that. im sorry lol i had to.
Phallus_fml 0
Mmmmm... kinky!!!!!!!
lara522 0
Bad choice of words. Not your fault though. And #35 writing it once would have been enough.
fmylifedotcomm 0
hahahaha i say that all the time without thinking...then i realize what i said and kick myself. lol FYL.
fmylifedotcomm 0
thanks #23...i'm gonna start saying fail train like all the time.
EmbryH 0
LOL I'm sorry, but you walked right into that one. It happens to all of us. Don't feel bad x)
wavewatcher 0
Why do people insist on taking everything people say as a sexual innuendo? Don't worry I've found myself in similar situations in time it will be forgotten.
smitty215 0
ok, not to burst u bubble sexual harrasment lawsuit lovers, but i was once fired on the grounds of sexual harrasment. because i asked a female coworker for a hug be4 i left work for the day. i realize i made her uncomfortable, but because she felt awkward for 2 seconds and wasnt able to tell me herself, i lost my only source of income and went into clinical depression for a couple months because i began wondering if i might actually be a socially awkward pervert. over asking for a hug. claiming sexual harrasment may get him to leave u alone, but it can also seriously mess up his life