Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML
Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
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Top comments
fretforyerlatte 0
well, you kinda asked for that one.
mcsnelly 5
Okay yeah that sounded really bad but everyone's said something without thinking about it and it sounded dirty...you DEFINITELY don't deserve to be hit on constantly just because you made a slip up like that!
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Comments (110)
cookie_whore 0
i dont get this FMY someone please explain?
pete275 0
how you doin'?
thegoodlifeNOT 0
hahahahaha
Jem0_0 0
Hey, so what are you doing Friday night?
froggy123000 0
Haha, I've done that before. But after I realized what I said, I said something along the lines of 'not like that!' think how it sounds after that!
fml2fullest 0
u set urself up i do that all the time
kcslgvr 11
oh man...i thought that you were a man when i first read that! it just made my day.
mother_green7 0
you tell 'em #4
hanamama 0
/facepalm lol, lovely. hate those moments when you don't realize just what you've said until RIGHT after you said it. :-D I won't vote either way on this one. It's pretty funny.
Trollipop_fml 0
#11 hit the nail on the head. YDI, even though it's totally something I would end up saying myself. I'd bring every ounce of rumor, wisecrack and creepy stalker it brought about too. Just do like I did when I actually encountered a similar situation, flat out say "I'm sorry if you're to immature to understand what I really meant, but let me set things straight. I've actually got standards, meaning I wouldn't even venture to think about you."