Miscellaneous: Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so...

By charitableidiot - 05/06/2014 22:23 - United States - Portland

Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 560

You deserved it 43 046

Miscellaneous

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Same thing different taste

Garden party

By Awkward is my name - 09/07/2023 12:00

Today, at a philanthropic event in some old money rich family's garden, I told my daughter she'd have to improve her table manners if she wanted to marry a nice man like that. I looked up and our host was standing right there, looking sternly in our direction. I smiled but he didn't smile back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 975

By bubblegummm13 - 27/09/2009 04:30 - Canada

Today, I got an email from my University informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn't lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I'm a charity case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 737

You deserved it 4 481

By ssondik - 22/06/2015 00:50 - United States - Hebron

Today, I was invited to a fancy-shmancy charity event, and the host - my friend - told me to wear a long, ballroom, fancy gown. Turns out my friend was just being a dick and it was a pool party. I spent $200 on my hair and makeup alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 087

You deserved it 5 173

By Anonymous - 09/10/2014 22:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got roped into a volunteering thing at the last minute. I was waiting outside with all these kids who looked hungry. Feeling bad, I passed around crisps and cookies. Turns out we were at a convention to promote healthy eating in malnourished children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 582

You deserved it 6 111

Nice try

By damn... - 28/10/2008 08:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 792

You deserved it 6 267

By well scrooge you too - 26/12/2015 04:24 - United States - North Myrtle Beach

Today, a customer gave me the dirtiest look ever and muttered "goody two-shoes prick" after I asked if he'd like to donate a few cents to charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 635

You deserved it 1 831

Uncomfortable encounter

By Klo - 12/11/2023 16:00

Today, I was set to meet my friends at a new, trendy café. I arrived early, eager to impress, but ended up walking into the wrong café and got stuck for an hour engaged in a disturbing conversation about serial killers with a total stranger who'd deludedly mistaken me for a long-lost friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 265

Out of place

By wowthanks - 11/01/2013 19:37 - United States - Baldwin Park

Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 890

You deserved it 7 983

By Anonymous - 22/10/2014 15:06 - Mexico - Guadalupe

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 870

You deserved it 4 830

By *sigh* - 23/05/2010 01:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a counsellor at a special needs camp when one of the parents came up to my friend and asked her what my disorder was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 885

You deserved it 3 538

lonelyfreak_fml 17

Friday 6 June 2014 8:59

That's crazy talk...

icnburbbygrl 23

Friday 6 June 2014 8:58

Ouch. Hopefully they weren't too mad

Comments

icnburbbygrl 23

Friday 6 June 2014 8:58

Ouch. Hopefully they weren't too mad

incoherentrmblr 21

Saturday 7 June 2014 4:44

Anthrax - Mad House...

\ 28

Saturday 7 June 2014 9:34

That was insanely inappropriate. #56 Ooh can I mention a song too? "I Need Help" - Hopsin

lonelyfreak_fml 17

Friday 6 June 2014 8:59

That's crazy talk...

Wolvander88 19

Friday 6 June 2014 13:18

OP sounds a lot like Phil Dunphy.

Applesarefum 9

Friday 6 June 2014 18:07

You win #2

mattrd_fml 31

Friday 6 June 2014 20:13

#28 I can no longer read this FML without picturing OP being Phil Dumphy. lol

joea21 21

Friday 6 June 2014 8:59

Honest mistake, at least you didn't say anything worse than that.

girI 20

Saturday 16 August 2014 12:46

Struggling to think of something worse...

noobsatin 19

Friday 6 June 2014 8:59

could've played it cool and said you meant it as a good kind of madness.

gracehi 31

Friday 6 June 2014 9:02

I think a have a solution to your predicament. Step 1) Take a seat Step 2) Firmly grasp foot Step 3) Open mouth Step 4) Insert foot into mouth Try that, OP. It's just CRAZY enough to work!