Dogs and Animals: Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I...

By Angel - 22/06/2015 02:16 - United States - Utica

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 165

You deserved it 2 168

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 7 721

Baywatch

By Jenn - 16/12/2016 00:50

Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 234

You deserved it 841

Baywatch music starts

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 12:00

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 622

By mathii - 23/07/2011 23:52 - France

Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 772

You deserved it 6 170

By beachbum - 27/02/2009 06:03 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 452

You deserved it 54 154

By anonymous - 10/06/2009 22:50 - United States

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 731

You deserved it 4 676

Beast Mode

By Vee - 24/09/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 214

You deserved it 437

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 610

You deserved it 7 729

By loser. - 20/03/2010 06:23 - Canada

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 617

You deserved it 5 503

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 55 376

sorainu 18

Monday 22 June 2015 18:09

Okay, but your dog loves you!

Emma1562 35

Monday 22 June 2015 18:09

Haha that stinks I'm sorry op, maybe play with him more it sounds like he only wanted to play with you without getting wet.

Comments

Emma1562 35

Monday 22 June 2015 18:09

Haha that stinks I'm sorry op, maybe play with him more it sounds like he only wanted to play with you without getting wet.

mohamed_H 21

Monday 22 June 2015 18:12

At least you know he gotchu if you drown lol

Jonkbaby 22

Tuesday 23 June 2015 13:09

I take it you were swimming on your back..?

sorainu 18

Monday 22 June 2015 18:09

Okay, but your dog loves you!

dacooliest 16

Tuesday 23 June 2015 1:03

Well that's the nice way to think about it, but maybe he finally saw it as his chance to get rid of her! ._.

iPixelCheese 19

Monday 22 June 2015 18:10

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Sandsh8rk 36

Monday 22 June 2015 18:13

Did you read the FML? It was his dog, not a human friend. How would a dog know any better?

iPixelCheese 19

Monday 22 June 2015 18:15

Holy cow I am an idiot! I will be in the corner if you need me

sunnyskys 25

Tuesday 23 June 2015 5:39

girls best friend come on its not always a cat.

emissy 14

Monday 22 June 2015 18:14

Maybe he just wanted to play!

Sandsh8rk 36

Monday 22 June 2015 18:14

Next Baywatch episode confirmed?

CorruptedNuk3r 11

Monday 22 June 2015 18:14

At least you have a dog that really cares about you

LeavenSilva 27

Monday 22 June 2015 18:14

Well at least you're ok!

SauceySarah 30

Monday 22 June 2015 18:16

That's really adorable. He loves you and tried his best!

blcksocks 19

Monday 22 June 2015 18:20

I can't tell like if you just went down on your lab or did a 69 ...

CommentKing207 23

Monday 22 June 2015 18:31

I hope you're fine OP, but at least you know he's there for you at all times!

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Miscellaneous Gross Poopoo peepee Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Cars Work Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 525

The Top

Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 252

Today, I had to create a new password for my computer. I had to do it to stop my father from watching porn on my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 114

Today, I was shut in a boiling hot room with six children: a 10-year-old who kept shouting, a belligerent 7-year-old, two 5-year-olds who thought hitting me was funny and two 2-year-olds, who wouldn't stop crying. Their parents were just outside, laughing away, ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 201

Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 349

You deserved it 3 962

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 862

You deserved it 4 837

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 220

You deserved it 3 954

Same thing different taste

Baywatch

*Baywatch music starts*

Beast Mode

Sick moves, bro

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Comments

Baywatch music starts