Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I took my brother to the bathroom at a restaurant. The stall next to mine was locked, so I assumed he was still in there. I yelled his name a few times, then banged on the door out of annoyance. I gave up and returned to the table, where he was sitting with a grin. Turns out I just traumatized a poor lady in the stall. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
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Top comments
OuchThatsHarsh 0
How in the world did you fit in the toilet?
mickeyroxsox 2
it's called a joke. get a clue.
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Comments (55)
ROFLDOCTOR 1
Lawl. If my sister did that to me I probably would have barfed right back on her and proceeded to yell about how there are other sinks, a whole 'nother bathroom, and a ton of freaking garbage cans she could have used. Sucks to know you had to rush just so you could be puked on. FYL. D:
beans248 0
lmao. you were IN the toilet? should have just told them to wait and for that extra few seconds they would have puked on the door.
cdessert1995 0
so what exactly were you doing in the toilet?
Allymeme 3
You were in the toilet? I picked You deserved it just because you said that.
electroboy_fml 0
Hooray for racism!
chowyuk 0
is it posible to bang quietly?
ChronicFAIL 0
Of course it is. Me and my girlfriend bang quietly whenever her dad is asleep in the next room :)
PlasmaWafflez 0
Why the **** were you IN the toilet??!!!
_20jre 0
There is a typo... Today, I was masturbating in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Mx_Rider 6
hah u shoulda socked him in the head dgaf
rene22 18
You guys do know that the "i" and "o" keys are right next to each other, right?
chrisssss_fml 0
Um, why is this in the Love section? Weird...