Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took my brother to the bathroom at a restaurant. The stall next to mine was locked, so I assumed he was still in there. I yelled his name a few times, then banged on the door out of annoyance. I gave up and returned to the table, where he was sitting with a grin. Turns out I just traumatized a poor lady in the stall. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
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Top comments
OuchThatsHarsh 0
How in the world did you fit in the toilet?
mickeyroxsox 2
it's called a joke. get a clue.
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Comments (55)
Occam 0
Did he punch you in the face and run away?
Duncanisms 0
ewwww not the Blumpkin :o
EmoSkittlez 0
wow aha thatz horrible
kukopia 0
Next time don't panic. If you haddn't wasted time doing that, you would have made it.
bansheebomber 14
That's exactly what I was thinking! When someone bangs on the bathroom door really loudly, flush, pull up your pants, and open the door. That takes about 10 seconds.
racerapj 10
gross
JSAgirl 0
one question - how were you IN the toilet wouldn't you get a little wet?
liveBabylon 0
If she's from England, thats what they call them there.. Toilet, or loo LOL when iwas little I thought a restroom was a place you leave to cuz you wanted a nap hahaha
besad_fml 0
haw can you be in a toilet?? I've Been on it but never in it.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Confucius say man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
daytona81 0
you were "IN" the toilet?
Bibbz55 0
awwh that's horrible :( poor you !
Ligerie 0
Why did you panic in your home bathroom?