Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young... - FML

By itsjustmyluck - 9/11/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

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Understandable

Family values

Bad guy (duh)

By Master's_degree_in_failure - 17/10/2020 22:30

The ole answer/forward conundrum

Today, I "answered" an email instead of "forwarding" it. As a result, there is a chance that my Master's thesis supervisor gets a message from me starting by the F-word, and complaining about my bad work and inability to understand a deadline. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 01:29 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

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By sexaddict - 7/1/2009 08:16 - France

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/8/2012 02:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I woke up to an angry text from my roommate asking me to please let her know next time I'm going to have a friend crashing on the couch. I have no idea who she's talking about. FML

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By snarly1 - 6/12/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

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By izoliv - 22/11/2008 08:17 - France

Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML

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By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

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By teddyissmall - 14/4/2014 06:29 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

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By ohshit - 29/3/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

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By e - 2/12/2010 09:24 - United States

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

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By Rash - 6/12/2011 16:54 - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/7/2012 21:38 - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

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By Sal - 9/2/2009 18:32 - United States

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

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By Taylor - 2/7/2019 20:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend, who loves board games, to give me advice on a board game I'm making. I ended up crying in the fetal position. FML

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By SaveMeTeddy - 16/10/2013 18:48 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

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By dumbteacher - 22/11/2010 14:47

Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML

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By stunned - 15/3/2010 15:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

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By Jonoq - 4/10/2019 16:00 - Canada

Stress factor 11

Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML

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By Cinderella - 9/7/2017 14:55

Today, my house was so dusty that when I started to clean it, the smoke detector went off. FML

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By oops - 19/11/2014 17:03 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/9/2010 15:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML

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By CheapFamily - 9/4/2014 23:47 - United States

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

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By singlegirl - 27/11/2009 18:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

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By SadDad - 22/9/2012 18:11 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

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By Anonymous - 27/4/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/9/2020 20:02

"Based on your purchase history…"

Today, in the break room at work, I was looking through my email on my phone about my Amazon orders. There was a suggested product that looked like a dildo. I turned around to see my boss behind me glancing at my phone. FML

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By babyboomerang - 12/5/2009 11:16 - United States

Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML

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By ThroatSlasher - 17/8/2015 19:20 - United Kingdom - Grimsby

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with "Hah, just kidding. You're fuckin' BORING!" FML

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By helen_ - 23/4/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

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By John - 15/11/2009 06:08 - Australia

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

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By Mr. Shawzy - 14/1/2009 13:09 - Canada

Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML

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By rejected - 13/4/2012 05:09 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

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By Stalked - 15/11/2011 00:46 - United States

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

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By Tib - 18/12/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/12/2015 03:23 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I was volunteering at a gift-wrapping booth to raise money for autism, and helping others takes my mind off the fact that my mom died at Christmas. While carefully wrapping a present, offering bows, ribbons, and a gift tag, a snobby bitch said to me, "You're not doing a very good job." FML

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By shitberries - 25/12/2015 16:00 - United States - Jefferson City

Today, I tried dying my hair blonde. I put my hair in a bun and waited for it to dye. I guess I did something wrong, because my hair is now 4 different shades of blonde/orange, along with patches of my natural black hair. FML

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By Aaron - 26/8/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

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By waytootan - 22/8/2011 20:34 - United States

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

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By hallofail - 1/11/2012 00:40 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

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By Noname - 18/2/2009 02:52 - United States

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

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Top comments

By radooh | 0

#662139 - Monday 9 November 2009 10:25

You should have started laughing maniacally saying "I'M GOING TO EAT YOU UP, LITTLE GIRL".

By allmidnighteyes | 10

#662104 - Monday 9 November 2009 9:51

She probably thought you were gonna eat her or something

COMMENTS

By allmidnighteyes | 10

#662104 - Monday 9 November 2009 9:51

She probably thought you were gonna eat her or something

Reply

morningwoody | 0

#662121 - Monday 9 November 2009 10:07

OP...YDI for eating little girl ...shame on you!!!!!

Reply

the_stereotype | 0

#663263 - Tuesday 10 November 2009 1:23

that is one fucking stupid kid. what little kid hasn't seen braces before? and at 24, it's not like you're aging or something. don't worry, she'll probably grow up to be a hideous teenager who's going to need everything fixed.

By Gonza | 0

#662108 - Monday 9 November 2009 9:56

FYL

By shudashuia | 0

#662112 - Monday 9 November 2009 9:58

the little girl seem to be a little villain...it is not a big deal..

By cerebellum_fml | 0

#662119 - Monday 9 November 2009 10:06

Ahh its just the bling that hurts the kids eye. its all good though you know you are pimpin those braces. shine on.

By deathburger13 | 0

#662131 - Monday 9 November 2009 10:14

wtf lol
my mom had braces at like 40

By radooh | 0

#662139 - Monday 9 November 2009 10:25

You should have started laughing maniacally saying "I'M GOING TO EAT YOU UP, LITTLE GIRL".

Reply

nolifefyl | 1

#2631392 - Monday 6 June 2011 18:02

the little girl would shit her pants!!!!!!!

By allmidnighteyes | 10

#662145 - Monday 9 November 2009 10:33

OP probably looked liked this: http://i36.tinypic.com/2iaa43n.jpg

Reply

nokillnobeepbeep | 0

#662150 - Monday 9 November 2009 10:36

Lol. You can close this puppy up, #8 just won.

By Tabitha20634 | 0

#662153 - Monday 9 November 2009 10:36

I am sorry i had a kid completely shocked in Halloween when he saw mine. I am the same age and I had a front baby tooth that never came out so not only do i have braces but I also have all these attachments to pull the adult tooth down and a hole in the front of my mouth

By StaticDown | 0

#662160 - Monday 9 November 2009 10:47

Wow, kids are weird... I have a teacher with braces and I first thought she had dirty teeth cause they were the see through kind of braces but still visible, but then I realized it was braces... Hasn't the kid seen braces before? It's not that uncommon... FYL

By hornetchik | 0

#662161 - Monday 9 November 2009 10:48

Aw braces are alllll good, at least you will have beautiful teeth afterwards!