Money and Health: Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting...

By tripleBBB - 09/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 2 625

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By FattyMcFatterson - 24/06/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 801

You deserved it 82 470

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 509

You deserved it 1 372

By kissandcontrol01 - 10/10/2015 04:22 - United States - Hanford

Today, I decided to take a well-deserved shower. When I let my hair down, twenty six cents fell onto the floor. I have no idea how they got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 607

You deserved it 4 148

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 148

You deserved it 42 311

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 58 266

By Mr. Shawzy - 15/01/2009 11:43 - Canada

Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 093

You deserved it 23 229

It creeps up on you

By Anonymous - 10/08/2021 14:01

Today, I looked down while taking a piss and could only see my belly button. Wow, I’m fat now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 408

Simple answer

By pathetic - 29/05/2009 02:35 - Canada

Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 072

You deserved it 59 323

By ihncredible - 10/12/2012 23:32 - United States - Macomb

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 177

You deserved it 8 073

By wobble... - 23/02/2012 11:29 - Australia

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 299

You deserved it 32 854

routerere 10

Sunday 9 September 2018 1:35

Rubbing your belly produces money and you're complaining?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 9 September 2018 1:49

Plot twist: it was 100 pennies!

Comments

Jay Colclo 4

Monday 10 September 2018 11:37

just call it a human savings account.

Keywords

Skincare Health Cats Gross Coworkers Work Animals AITA Fire Awkward Love Cars Money Scams Transportation Scary Bikes Dogs Motherhood Family Covid Miscellaneous Birthday Friends Social Media Jealousy Sex Intimacy Wanker Lonely

The Top

Today, I arse-dialled my ex while drunkenly singing karaoke at a bar. She picked up just in time to hear me belting out a heartfelt rendition of "I Will Survive." I don't think she bought my "pocket dial" excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 208

Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes, "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said, "Me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 562

You deserved it 9 847

The Top

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 593

You deserved it 48 894

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 112

You deserved it 3 874

Today, it's the 6th day in a row my roommate has not left our dorm room. I miss jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 846

You deserved it 1 103

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 110

You deserved it 1 448

Today, our family dog passed away. My 16 year-old daughter had a tantrum over us cancelling her 16th birthday trip, because, “the stupid dog picked the perfect day to die.” She says she’s going on the trip “with or without us.” She actually went. With her friends. What do they see in this sociopathic brat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 1 602

Today, my boyfriend put chili powder on our loo roll as a "harmless" prank. He forgot women use loo roll to wipe the sensitive parts of their bodies. I have itchy weeping sores inside my vagina and am considering sticking an ice cube up there to stop the burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 563

You deserved it 388

Same thing different taste

Y'all need fiber.

It creeps up on you

Simple answer

Top comments

Comments