Love, Intimacy and Health: Is this the worst Netflix and chill ever?

Is this the worst Netflix and chill ever?

By Anonymous - 15/08/2018 06:00

Today, a guy I'd been seeing briefly came over for cocktails and a movie. The night ended with him vomiting in my bathroom and on my couch, using my toothbrush, then proceeding to tell me how big his ex-boyfriend's dick was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 973

You deserved it 514

Love Intimacy Health

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By red - 27/09/2012 11:37 - United States - Portland

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 071

You deserved it 8 251

By sevenshotmovie - 21/09/2017 07:00 - United States - Sheffield

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to watch a movie with myself and a few friends. He got drunk, talked during the entire movie, fell into and broke my fan and then threw up all over my roommate's bathroom. He is still leaning over the toilet and my fan sounds like a woodpecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 103

You deserved it 521

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 061

You deserved it 7 031

Strategic

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 13:50 - South Africa

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 758

You deserved it 95 404

Partied out

By kp. - 31/08/2010 12:46 - Australia

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 156

You deserved it 4 492

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 446

You deserved it 8 525

Queasy

By ohdeardarling - 14/06/2009 13:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else had left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 812

You deserved it 60 566

By Foxy - 05/02/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 309

You deserved it 26 861

Sick sex, dude

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 02:13 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 461

You deserved it 5 219

Sounds like quite the catch

By Brooke - 14/08/2015 16:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred, "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 763

You deserved it 2 345

real life problems 26

Wednesday 15 August 2018 6:05

Sounds like you should have invited his ex instead, for a bigger experience

chosha_fml 26

Wednesday 15 August 2018 7:37

‘Netflix and spew’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Comments

real life problems 26

Wednesday 15 August 2018 6:05

Sounds like you should have invited his ex instead, for a bigger experience

FishyFishy 12

Wednesday 15 August 2018 6:32

Just let him out, no trash can or bag. HE MUST SUFFER!

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 15 August 2018 7:23

Cocktails? Whose **** in whose tail? What happened in the beginning and middle of the evening?

chosha_fml 26

Wednesday 15 August 2018 7:37

‘Netflix and spew’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

boopingsnoot 24

Wednesday 15 August 2018 21:36

“Hulu and spew” works better

Madrias 36

Wednesday 15 August 2018 9:42

Party Foul!

DMA 11

Wednesday 15 August 2018 14:31

Don’t leave us in suspense, OP! How big was his ex’s dick?!

Zekfen 17

Wednesday 15 August 2018 15:50

Maybe he was still suffering from the migraines his ex boyfriend gave him every time he orgasmed.

booboo300 15

Thursday 16 August 2018 2:42

Cocktails? More like **** tales.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 19 August 2018 7:35

And you didn't kick him out because...?

KingAdrock 16

Friday 26 October 2018 5:25

It couldn't be that big, considering this dude's gag reflex...

Keywords

Music Party Awkward Love Students Exams Education Kids Dogs Animals Jealousy Embarrassing Work Annoying Coffee Scary Geek Boredom Fire Cheating Scams Break-ups Sex Intimacy Health Relatable Alcohol Family AITA Wake up

The Top

Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 929

You deserved it 1 654

Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 895

You deserved it 2 546

The Top

Today, I knew my relationship was basically over when my boyfriend invited me over, and I was more excited about seeing his dog than seeing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 729

You deserved it 1 587

Today, I had a big final project due for class. None of my project partners would help me yesterday, because they were convinced we'd have a snow day. Unfortunately, we didn't have a snow day, and we failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 602

You deserved it 7 609

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 984

You deserved it 5 910

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 994

You deserved it 2 492

Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "You jerk! Why are you making fun of her? She has Tourette's, you know!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 411

You deserved it 41 028

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me through Skype, with the message "my penis wants more, but my heart and mind don't want to hurt you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 400

You deserved it 4 314