Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work and was in a conversation with some colleagues. I go to check my phone and accidentally clicked on the Safari app. Safari still had PornHub pulled up. FML
Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML
Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML
Today, while watching a movie on my iPad, a really cute girl sat next to me. Suddenly, everyone on the bus started clapping. I started to clap very loudly as well, asking the girl why we were clapping. She gave me a strange look. I then realized the applause was coming from my headphones. FML
Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML
Today, I was stalking my Bumble match’s Instagram feed before I said hello. I went to tap for sound on a video of him getting his backside tattooed but accidentally double-tapped and liked the video. Sound turned on and I realized I liked a video of him farting. Couldn’t say hello after that. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML
Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML
Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML
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Top comments
ananas99_fml 10
How did she react?? lol
Setareh23 34
Now if she still friends you on FaceBook, you know you've got a keeper. Would've loved to see everyone's faces, hehe.
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Comments (125)
scr_sensei 14
YDI for using Safari.
your_ma 27
If you open safari on pornhub it goes to the video you were last watching but it doesn't automatically start playing. Don't ask how I know this.
123man 11
Are you questioning the validity of this FML? Tsk tsk.
Rewan_fml 12
ever heard of clearing your browser history?
Legendslayer222 26
Wait, why do you need that on your phone? Couldn't wait until you got home?
Enslaved 38
From yesterday? Hey you're lucky your phone allows you to continue watching. After an hour, mine makes me click on another one of my free 5 videos. :P
perdix 31
#31, that's because you are not a Premium Member. I have a feeling that the OP is probably a Plutonium-level Elite Member, and that the "cute girl" on the bus is what the rest of us might call a "3."
Enslaved 38
I don't know. I would think that his standards for "cute" would be higher than a 3. Have you seen how hot some of those girls are in ****? (Of course you have! ;) Awe. . . Somehow your uses of word "plutonium" is making me sad that Pluto is now a dwarf planet. ):
perdix 31
#35, just focus on the fact that Pluto is Mickey Mouse's dog and you'll be chipper in no time. I think there's a girl at my gym who is in ****. She's got these unreal body proportions and horrid face that seems like it could be made pleasing with tons of make-up.
MrSarcasmic 10
atleast it wasn't gay ****
madamspammalot 15
How do you know it wasn't?
AshaaFerreira 22
He was in the bus?!
perdix 31
I wish my iPhone speakers were that good! Either that or your buses in Finland are amazingly quiet!
AshaaFerreira 22
Perdix your on a roll today!:)
waltjrimmer 6
I don't want **** on my phone and I STILL make sure that it's at the homepage before I leave it anywhere. I learned that when I closed the browser on my phone while it was still open to my Facebook account...
samcarroll 9
lol, what category were you watching?
Najeexo 10
That's why u always hav to have earphones