Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
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Top comments
tilly_llama 11
I am genuinely sorry.
Welshite 40
You two need to talk things out. There's obviously room for improvement on both your parts. Communication is key.
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Comments (101)
rgri 11
Take a hint.
SkyDog 9
Take? She made the hint, then bitch slapped him with it.
limabeans101029 21
*Her. OP is a woman.
RobbiTheBlondie 11
You make it sound like a roller coaster. Which it seems she'd rather ride than you.
iKJH 7
I would ride anything but you.
ocramavaf 15
Jesus dude, easy does it, it's just the comment section
olpally 33
Ultimate mood killer. Ask her what's wrong.
PatandIsabella 4
Your talk should never be bigger than your " game " ... *Whispers *size matters =}
LittleShnanners 21
OP is a woman.
PatandIsabella 4
Awwww nuts , I didn't look. .... Well, that's awkward .
Godsofdracos 15
Look on the bright side, at least she can upgrade :)
KittenSandwich 9
I really didn't notice OP was a girl till I read some of these comments.
idecim8 5
And "it's about to get intense " isn't going to make the cut.
ElricMustang 23
Showing shallowness where it doesn't even apply. *Whispers* If size did matter, than smaller girls would have nothing, but I'm sure most guys would rather a small girl than one who believes size matters more than how you're using it ;)
StillUsesMyspace 22
If size was the problem, OP's problem could be solved for $100, or £60ish since OP is in the UK
leary96 15
Well did it get intense?
idecim8 5
Yea... What happened next. "Next time on " DUDE DOESNT KNOW WHAT HES DOING." " on FOX
Lilxpie 18
#49 - Op is female.
weveallbeenthere 30
wow. sorry. is it like a piece of macaroni falling into a pot? or are you just bad at it?
KeannaLove 32
OP is a girl.
TXFernwoods 26
That sucks. Talk to like a counselor for sex. Good luck OP. :D
thewife5 19
She sounds like a bore. At least you were trying.. She was probably laying there like a bored. FYL
thatnucca 36
I think you two were thinking different saddle choices... You were thinking equestrian, she was more my little pony...
gabagabaheyu 10
D: