Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML
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Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
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Top comments
tilly_llama 11
I am genuinely sorry.
Welshite 40
You two need to talk things out. There's obviously room for improvement on both your parts. Communication is key.
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Comments (101)
NeneWilliams 8
Make sure you know what she likes. Ask her if your doing what she like right. Don't wanna think your pleasing and all your doing is teasing.
itsjusttofunny 8
sounds like you need to can the bitch and get a new girlfriend. a tighter one.
yerawizardlizzy 27
For the 100th time, OP is female. Tightness isn't really a factor.
icepick23 12
At least she is honest. Try watching **** in order to learn some new moves?
Ben009 13
While she was yawning you should have put your dick in her mouth
limabeans101029 21
This has been pointed out so many times but I doubt OP will be doing that, considering SHE is a woman.
LowExpectations 30
In the spirit of the NFL you two should record the sex and point out all the flaws in your plays.
TogeBara 12
I'd almost put money that the majority of the couples that have this issue break up at some point. If your partner isn't willing to communicate and help you improve, they aren't worth your time since they obviously aren't even trying. Time for you to get someone that actually cares. Intimacy isn't something you can neglect for 99% of relationships. Either sit her down and ask how you can improve, or move on to someone that will talk things out with you. I wasn't that great to my gf when we had our first time and for a few times after and then she started telling me what she liked and the sweet spots. We've never been better and we are engaged. One of you needs to put out the effort so that you can learn what she enjoys.
Omniprism 15
We'll if she's so bored tell her to take the reins. She sounds like a bitch to me. Maybe find someone who's a bit more sensitive.
jhart97 4
I'd cut out the narrations. "I am going to gently insert my penis into your ******, and go in half way for the first 2 minutes, then slowly increasing speed and depth for maximum pleasure". Stop! Just go with it! Feel her out.
Xotoolyxo 16
Ouch :/ whisper something sexy in her ear instead?
unixdude 9
...when suddenly, mid-yawn, she experienced her first anal adventure.