Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
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Top comments
tilly_llama 11
I am genuinely sorry.
Welshite 40
You two need to talk things out. There's obviously room for improvement on both your parts. Communication is key.
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Comments (101)
idecim8 5
You should definitely smack her ass and choke her a little. And str8 up **** her. She's a bitch and should be ****** like one.
sierraaaa 15
you should ask her why she said that and try to work it out- both of you. In both relationships and sex communication is key.
Taylor22294 24
Next smart remark like that. Punch it in her butt.
birdybirdchirp 18
As long as you get yours man, its all good:)
commandercolbert 6
thats brutal. she demasculated you. maybe u need to work on it, but she went too far in saying that. iayls
askullnamedbilly 33
Kind of hard to emasculate someone who wasn't male to begin with.
jellybely 8
Tell her to do it by herself
ohishkabibble 21
Obviously you two need to communicate better! Sit your girlfriend down and have a nice, lengthy talk with her about how you can better please her (and maybe how she can better please you!). There are a lot of ways to spice things up in the bedroom, too; but you gotta talk about these things, OP!
qwils 11
Your girlfriend could put some effort into it too, if she's just laying there yawning she can't be very good in bed either.
mattrd_fml 31
Did you prove her wrong?
allplayedout 20
Are you Indiana Jones? What kind of line is that?