Miscellaneous: Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things...

By GothicbunnyxC - 28/01/2012 23:31 - Canada

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 648

You deserved it 35 342

Miscellaneous

Batman

Another great day to be alive

Thanks Texas

By freakfreak12345 - 19/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 624

You deserved it 74 656

By youmothERFUCKErs - 13/08/2012 17:50 - United States

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 087

You deserved it 2 356

By Richie - 20/05/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint. She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12-inch ham sub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 118

You deserved it 4 637

Sophie's Choice

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 04:01

Today, my love life comes down to a choice in loneliness: I can either be alone, because I never meet anyone these days, let alone an interesting guy. Or, I can go back to my ex, who I left because he made me feel alone while sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 24/12/2015 23:47 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 190

You deserved it 2 139

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 21:40 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 661

You deserved it 48 774

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 141

You deserved it 4 568

By seriously? - 23/08/2013 07:40

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 793

You deserved it 10 499

By Anonymous - 09/02/2016 16:54 - United States - Richmond

Today, some jackass decided that using the back of my car to slow down was easier than using his brakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 858

You deserved it 1 334

By Anonymous - 12/08/2009 02:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 709

You deserved it 3 268

By Doglover - 02/11/2017 14:00

Today, I went jogging. It was cold but I dressed lightly because I overheat when I exercise. Unfortunately, I locked myself out. My wife returned four hours later to find me spooning our dog in the doghouse to keep from freezing to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 839

You deserved it 929

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 227

You deserved it 129

By Rose - 23/07/2012 23:06 - United States

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 082

You deserved it 2 352

By clubber - 04/11/2008 04:16 - Switzerland

Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 237

You deserved it 9 013

By Colormered - 12/01/2010 15:08 - France

Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the spreadsheet red and okay parts green. After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 326

You deserved it 3 563

By WickedLittleDoll - 01/12/2014 16:38 - United States - Laurinburg

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 596

You deserved it 8 840

By fistycunt4 - 06/12/2014 20:22 - United States - Belmont

Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 236

You deserved it 3 763

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 892

You deserved it 5 973

Pro gamer move

By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 07:04 - France

Today, I wanted to play Among Us for a little distraction. I ended up having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 18:40 - Canada - London

Today, I told my mom about the rough time I'm having over my recent break-up, and how I can't help thinking about my ex every single day. Her attempt to console me involved saying, "Pft. I bet he doesn't think about you every day" and walking away. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 378

You deserved it 6 240

By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 17:24 - United States

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 307

You deserved it 6 185

By ihatemakingnames - 05/03/2013 00:41 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I trimmed my ear hair, my nose hair, shaved my hobbit feet, and trimmed the little sprouts that give me a unibrow if left alone. I still can't grow a beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 150

You deserved it 2 748

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 11:53 - United States

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 647

You deserved it 7 222

Scary

By The V Sal - 13/02/2009 18:39 - United States

Today, I was helping supervise a 5 year-old's birthday party in an inflatable obstacle course. I was playing hide and seek with them. I saw the birthday boy and crept around the corner and yelled, "Found you!" He peed his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 088

You deserved it 34 251

By Ackbar - 27/02/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 623

You deserved it 15 432

By Anonymous - 16/02/2014 19:21 - United States - Glasgow

Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 129

You deserved it 3 842

By DoseyGit - 24/01/2017 08:00

Today, while brushing my teeth I noticed a hair in the sink. Running the scenario over in my mind, I was going to simultaneously spit into the sink and throw the hair on the floor. Creating a big ball of phlegm, I threw the hair back into the sink and launched a huge mouthful onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 030

You deserved it 2 889

By LukeSkywalker - 23/12/2011 16:38 - United States

Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of 4 years through a speech that took me 3 weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 227

You deserved it 4 638

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 11:41 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a pansy and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 141

You deserved it 4 248

By idiotson - 11/06/2014 00:39 - United States - Rocky Point

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 181

You deserved it 8 938

By pretty princess - 01/02/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 761

You deserved it 4 914

By CASH_NoMOMEY - 07/05/2015 05:12 - United States - Windsor

Today, my main source of income is finding money on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 516

You deserved it 5 576

By shitbucketsfilledwithshit - 08/10/2015 16:04 - United States - Spring

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 760

You deserved it 18 847

By Anonymous - 02/06/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, I was working my job as a waitress near my college. I handed a customer her check, and she noticed that I had added her bill wrong. I apologized, and she pointed to my "student" labeled nametag, asking what I was studying. I said English. I'm a math major. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 063

You deserved it 46 923

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 27/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 752

You deserved it 19 161

My electric toothbrush

By Anonymous - 27/11/2019 18:00 - United States

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 542

You deserved it 280

By Anonymous - 04/03/2011 17:18 - Germany

Today, I dried my hands on the same towel I used this morning to wipe up a few shards of glass. You can't see the small splinters in my hands, but believe me, I can feel them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 812

You deserved it 42 192

By Silent - 03/12/2009 17:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 185

You deserved it 3 774

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 07:54 - United States

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 177

You deserved it 3 238

By Anonymous - 24/06/2015 17:41

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 196

You deserved it 2 436

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Top comments

Buttsexpirate 9

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:01

A little too eager my friend.

GoW_Chick 14

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:06

Psh. Don't lie you just wanted an excuse to pull your pants down in public..

lrgenesis 19

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:01

Haha nice

lrgenesis 19

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:03

Wait… were your underwear exposing the outline of your package? If so I hope youre not small…

imustbeinsane 2

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:06

Her package is as small as it gets considering she's a woman

somerandomdude19 2

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:10

I think soooomeeeeooonneeee was a bit eager to be first comment...

lrgenesis 19

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:10

I didn't notice that… fail on my part… *facepalm*

theaws0m3guy 4

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:13

I once did that, on purpose.

tanneriscool 2

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:16

18 - you beat me to it :( I wanted to say that....

shanemaximo 7

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:30

Any lady that is so willing to drop their pants in a crowded public space is A ok by me!

_Oblivion_ 12

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:36

I'm too slow on my draw to get first comment; it has always been my long loved dream to be the fucking idiot who screams first.

biggestfan23 11

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:44

I don't think nice is the best word with this FML

nabila21 0

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:47

Colonel_Lexi 18

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Sunday 29 January 2012 4:32

Quagmire, I thought the only times you ever drop your pants at an airport terminal is when your screwing the flight attendants.

esu 5

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Sunday 29 January 2012 5:11

I bet you made the guards' day

DooleyFTW 17

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Sunday 29 January 2012 8:15

73, I'm not sure if you realise this or not but quagmire is actually a fictional character.

EvilCupcake8361 9

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Monday 30 January 2012 7:24

5: camel toe??? .__.

mixmaster647 2

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Tuesday 31 January 2012 21:50

Whats the fuss with somekne being first comment ? Why the fuck should anyone even care about that

tanneriscool 2

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Thursday 2 February 2012 3:33

You jealous? Thought so..

Buttsexpirate 9

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:01

A little too eager my friend.

Pr0metheus 7

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:10

Were you expecting a complementary prostate exam?

zombicidal 11

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:14

most likely a cavity search

Angelrose2004 17

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:20

Since when do women have prostates?

Pr0metheus 7

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:22

Forgive my ignorance, I didn't bother to check OP's sex.

Wederoney 16

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:25

At least the airport security guys had a nice day.

Angelrose2004 17

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:30

For having such a cute profile pic, I forgive you! j/k

diceplaya 12

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:37

Or a little too desperate?

chenry1 4

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:54

Do you like the angle of my dangle? then the wink;)

ShyAnn29 14

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Sunday 29 January 2012 4:07

I hope OP had cute panties on.

piccalo 4

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Sunday 29 January 2012 4:30

@33 since when do women start showing panties, removing belt even if its a great hurry!!!

baconftw 9

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Sunday 29 January 2012 5:15

"Trying to get things over and done with quickly" and "I dropped my pants quickly" ;)

mark5723 0

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:02

Thanks a lot Bin Laden

cosmosis 12

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:10

But it isnt illegal, its just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an aeroplane!

The_Troller 14

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:20

Or in a retirement home. Don't ask.

jaredjudd21 2

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:02

"this isn't my appointment for my physical" -.-

SecretMe00 5

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:34

I wouldn't ever just drop my pants in public. I bet you looked like a goof ball OP.

abbybailey204 19

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Sunday 29 January 2012 5:50

I looked at that quickly and thought it said golf ball. :/

StopDropNRoll 11

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Sunday 29 January 2012 6:50

Idk 46 if she was incredibly hot I really don't think she would look like a goof ball. Just be a bit embarrassed

margie2194 12

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Sunday 29 January 2012 7:44

Giggidy ;)

cja101 8

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Sunday 29 January 2012 13:07

4- I can hear your comment in peter's voice lmao

blondpr0fet 5

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Sunday 29 January 2012 23:13

Thats actually Quagmire but A for effort.

jaredjudd21 2

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Monday 30 January 2012 2:39

That comment was actually meant for me but A for effort.

Bluemonster3 26

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Sunday 29 January 2012 3:03

That must have been awkward

Manganimegrl 16

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Sunday 29 January 2012 4:55

I think so...

NuTrees 9

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Sunday 29 January 2012 7:20

It's hilarious though, I'm sure he just shrugged it off. It really isn't a biggie. F no ones life because I'm sure everyone had a laugh.

Furrywhiplash 14

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Sunday 29 January 2012 9:12

115- I'm pretty sure SHE didn't shrug it off, and I'm sure she felt thoroughly embarrassed. Why would she bother to post it as a FML if she just shrugged it off? THINK!

NuTrees 9

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Monday 30 January 2012 2:08

Some people can laugh at themselves. Think! Just think that maybe she was comfortable enough to giggle, put her pants back on and carry on. It certainly is not the end of the world.

Furrywhiplash 14

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Monday 30 January 2012 3:10

You are still forgetting the fact that it was posted as an FML, so she clearly did not just laugh or giggle. While I agree many people can laugh at themselves with stuff like that, it doesn't appear she is one of them.