Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
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Top comments
yeezheng 6
I bet your braces must have hurt your girlfriend. I feel sorry for her instead of you OP. A large chunk of pubes rip out is no joke.
maddy23a 5
Nice one ace
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Comments (416)
jaff23 11
nice bonding experience
bizarre_ftw 22
Yeah, they can really say they know what it's like to be 'close' So close, you can almost taste it.
Ikickmidgets 11
hard to be romantic or sexy with braces man. At least you didn't snag a piece of roast beef with those bad boys!
Okayitwasme 0
Baaahaa ha
AthleticSwaqq 8
Smooooth! Did it taste good? Just kidding.. She should shave....
peptidoglycan 4
Agreed! She should shave- that's pretty disgusting O.o
AthleticSwaqq 8
Yeah, it is! And honestly, if it was their first time together.. You think she would shave, to make it more enjoyable? Not really the word I'm looking to describe it but.. Its just nasty. -.-
jorfaw29 0
That's what I said! That's nasty! My girl gets nothin unless she shaves! :) haha
JenL_fml 7
I hope you shave too...
perdix 31
If that doesn't teach her to wax or shave, I don't know what will!
every1luvsboners 11
Big bushy women are making a comeback. It works like a trampoline. Less effort = Way better.
Okayitwasme 0
That's just gross! Hair is what holds smell! So after sex it's disgusting. Besides when there's less hair easier to tell if the person has sores and shit.
every1luvsboners 11
If you're looking for sores and shit, you should reconsider your choice of partners.
Okayitwasme 0
I have only had and still have 1 partner. Sorry you think the worst.
llamalpaca382 13
Perdix strikes again!
Okayitwasme 0
I don't have that Problem! Only been with 1 guy! Still with him 21 years. We don't have issues with our sex life. Or our hygiene. You have to admit, hair does hide shit! You don't have to think the worst of me for being honest! Nurses shave you of you have surgery, because hair can fall in or be in the way!
SammyS2012 21
They shave for surgery because it's unhealthy to have the hair fall IN the opening. Seriously people, it's just hair. And I'm tired of hearing, "it's not the 1970s". Shaven pubic areas became popular because of **** from that era. **** isn't realistic people. It's not nasty if a girl doesn't shave or if her partner likes it. It's preference. Shave or don't shave, it's their decision. I wouldn't like it if my boyfriend shaved, and he wouldn't like it if I was bare there. He would at least prefer trimmed slightly so it's not everywhere. Get over it. Not everyone shaves.
Steve95401 49
Trimming the bush is a good compromise.
perdix 31
99. Social convention determines the nastiness of hair in various places. If it weren't for shaving, men would have full beards and women would have hairy legs and armpits. Most people find those to be turn-offs, so you will see very few completely "natural" people. Now, removing or at least trimming the pubes is becoming the norm. I, for one, couldn't be happier.
squid93 9
Glad to see that you put out here that you dont shave sammy and have some hair down there. It is preference for the women to have the choice. I like it when women dont shave, for me pubic hair is a turn on and the shaved pre-pubescent look is a turn off!
piwikiwi93 0
Ummmm.......YEAH, NOT ROMANTIC!
sierramarie143 0
Way to state the obvious
onecrazybitch 0
Am I the only one that thinks taking panties off with your teeth is not the least bit romantic?
every1luvsboners 11
That's probably because you wear boxers.
herotime 7
Yes.
jorfaw29 0
If you know how, it is! I have had to practice that shit hardcore. And unbuttoning her butting it sexy too! :)
rae_munchkin 6
Wax on... Wax off! Its simple!
swimboy21 0
You wax off yours?
Epic_Times 10
I agree with a lot of others on here. It wouldn't just be bad for you OP it would hurt your girlfriend... You could of cut her with your braces.
miZscrZee 0
YUCK! Chic needs to SHAVE THAT BUSH. keep it fresh and clean for ya man fools.
Bekll 31
Sexist. Why blame her for having hair for what her boyfriend spontaneously decided to do? It's not unclean to not shave.
cka_54 5
Ewwww.