Miscellaneous: Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for... - FML

By Jarryd - 10/02/2012 05:40 - Australia

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 492

You deserved it 7 460

Stop talking!

Walk the line

Dysfunctional

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 05:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 067

You deserved it 7 957

By GingerJ - 02/01/2012 01:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 954

You deserved it 8 340

By fobfan14 - 16/09/2009 10:37 - United States

Today, somebody broke in to my house and stole my laptop, which had years worth of family photos on it. Where was I when it was stolen? At Staples, buying supplies that included CDs to finally back up my pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 713

You deserved it 5 354

By uppiskalle - 12/09/2014 14:32 - United States - Riverside

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 546

You deserved it 45 591

By WhyM3Th0ugh - 10/09/2015 23:21 - United States - Sunnyside

Today, one of my idiot classmates decided it was a good idea to throw his water bottle across the room to his friend. Unfortunately, I was sitting in front of his friend. I now have a very noticeable bruise and bump near my temple along with a headache. Everybody laughed at me. Even the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 934

You deserved it 1 658

Best thing to do

By Jerry - 04/01/2021 10:58

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my wife and my buddy from work. They didn’t even stop. I just went to a motel to get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 153

By Rachael - 01/07/2011 03:08 - United States

Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 994

You deserved it 2 898

By bloody hell - 04/06/2015 05:59 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 911

You deserved it 3 833

By Anonymous - 20/03/2013 16:08 - United States - Arlington

Spicy

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 962

You deserved it 6 473

By Stingraybeemonster - 07/04/2016 08:51 - Thailand

Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 362

You deserved it 2 269

By Arghh - 13/04/2011 13:34 - United States

Today, I had an allergic reaction to cranberry juice. The only reason I was drinking cranberry juice was to help with a bladder infection. Now I'm covered in what looks like a rash and peeing constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 3 317

I wanna be oppressed so bad

By Anonymous - 14/10/2021 02:00

Today, I found my 30 year-old sister-in-law's TikTok. All she posts on it is indigenous issues and goes on rants about how hard life is for her and her ancestors. She's white, but claims to be Blackfoot and "white passing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 88

By whyeventry? - 02/08/2013 04:39 - United States - Neenah

Spicy

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 007

You deserved it 12 676

By quiet_screaming_ - 01/07/2015 02:21 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 005

You deserved it 8 791

Better off out

By Anonymous - 14/11/2020 02:02

Today, I was fired because I spoke up about a supervisor mistreating me. The assistant VP spent the meeting demeaning me to “teach me a lesson” and then said she was firing me because I “stirred the pot." Man, I really loved that job but I won’t miss the toxic work culture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 64

By diva467 - 03/10/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 731

You deserved it 15 093

By c-mack - 08/09/2009 00:52 - United States

Today, I got jumped by five dudes who took my phone. On it I had naked pictures of myself. An hour later they sent the pictures to all of my contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 644

You deserved it 46 936

By CC - 11/10/2011 14:51 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before we even started. In his sleep, he pushed me out of the bed. When I woke up, he had peed himself in his sleep. Glad I let that ship sail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 761

You deserved it 24 899

By gag reflex - 16/08/2014 16:03 - Australia - Burwood

Spicy

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 920

You deserved it 9 769

Nice, thanks

By sweetnan - 28/08/2013 01:29 - Chile - Santiago

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 214

You deserved it 8 318

By ChessNut - 27/11/2018 12:00

Today, a girl I'd been crushing on for a little while and I were talking about autism. Some of the last words she said were "I try to not find autistic people so fucking annoying, but I can't help it. But can you blame me?” I'm autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 248

You deserved it 339

Deadbeat

By stepdaddydoesitbetteranyway - 13/10/2020 20:05

Today, I found out that my ex is expecting another kid. Not only is this a man who tried to hook up with me last month, he's also the one who, when I asked him to pay child support for our 2, told me that he could just "make some more". Guess he was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 122

By hearingthings - 26/06/2012 02:59 - Australia - Perth

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 160

You deserved it 6 492

By surprise - 11/12/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 069

You deserved it 3 273

By I knew it! - 02/11/2018 17:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I woke up to 6 missed calls. I called back to find a woman asking how I know her boyfriend after seeing our texts. I told her he's been my boyfriend for 4 months, and she told me he's been hers for over a year. He vehemently denied knowing who I am as I spoke, even with obvious proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 016

You deserved it 285

By JFC - 17/07/2016 19:56

Today, I was staying over at a friend's house for the weekend while the rest of my family goes to Cuba. Her neighbor started hitting on me. As it turns out, "he" was actually born as a "she", and now I'm apparently a transphobic bitch for not being interested. Two more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 027

You deserved it 998

By SeeBrendenBurn - 21/11/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 715

You deserved it 5 648

By Soap0015 - 16/08/2012 09:57 - United States

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 104

You deserved it 2 790

By LostSoul - 10/07/2019 02:06

Today, I found out my daughter was planning a wedding and invited everyone but me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 442

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 088

You deserved it 3 142

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 00:11 - United States

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 472

You deserved it 19 011

By Anonymous - 24/03/2013 21:33 - United States - Lutz

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 070

You deserved it 25 763

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 862

You deserved it 2 596

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 17:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 976

You deserved it 54 198

Classic brain fart

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 05:30 - Australia - Ballarat

Today, I lovingly simmered a chicken carcass, vegetables and spices to make soup. Two hours it took. After all that, I mindlessly strained out the chicken bones and let the soup pour straight down the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 510

By GiraffeLover - 11/01/2013 11:36 - Australia

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 195

You deserved it 7 046

Don't let it come to this

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 02:01

Today, we had the cops called on us because my son was panicking so much about his first COVID jab, his older sister got fed up, took him outside, put him in a headlock and choked him unconscious so the nurse could jab him. Instead, the nurse called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 1 125

By StickyPickles - 17/09/2015 02:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried the 'Casual Encounter' page on Craigslist. Three hours, a bunch of spam, and a 30-minute call to some company, speaking to some lady I could barely understand to recover the $40 somehow charged to my card. I think I might want to try other ways to meet people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 362

You deserved it 9 597

Nice try

By Ma.Sa.La. - 27/02/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings - No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right… NO INTEREST." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 637

You deserved it 50 448

By iNearlyHurled - 28/09/2012 08:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 891

You deserved it 2 797

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Top comments

Buttsexpirate 9

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:02

Man you always gotta brush your pearly whites so situations like this don't happen!!

saIty 17

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:03

The Rock better give you plentiful of cash for that tooth then.

Comments

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:01

Hey, maybe the tooth fairy will cone!!

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:04

*come

MagicGiraffe 12

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:29

Cum*

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:32

I loved the excitement I had as a kid when the tooth fairy coned.

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Friday 10 February 2012 13:03

that bites

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Friday 10 February 2012 14:24

I didn't know the tooth fairy would come and take your ice-cream cone by the ice-cream part!

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Friday 10 February 2012 16:02

lol you either have never been to a dentist or you're so young that you haven't lost all your baby teeth yet!

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Friday 10 February 2012 18:38

That make out session must have been intense! Teeth fallin out and shit....

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Friday 10 February 2012 21:45

Mmmmm. Minty

blondbrunette916 0

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Friday 10 February 2012 22:27

how old are you OP, six?

lovelylittleme 0

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Friday 10 February 2012 22:59

Are you nine in a half!? Why haven't your teeth all fallen out yet!?

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Saturday 11 February 2012 7:37

102 he need to brush more often. Or if he's only like ten he's gotta wait for his older years.

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Saturday 11 February 2012 10:31

I'm 24 and still have baby teeth. It's pretty common for people to not have some adult teeth. And since it's the adults that push the baby teeth out, mine haven't fallen out yet. I know of 4 people with the same problem.

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Sunday 12 February 2012 11:29

158 It is not that you still have baby teeth, it is that some of your original teeth simply do not fall out, ever. Being 24 with baby teeth is either a localized growth stunt or a genetic anomaly, both of which are extremely rare. You and your friend's teeth will never fall out, as they are not meant to.

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Monday 13 February 2012 10:51

Copied from Wikipedia "[baby teeth] develop during the embryonic stage of development and erupt—that is, they become visible in the mouth—during infancy. They are usually lost and replaced by permanent teeth, but in the absence of permanent replacements, they can remain functional for many years."

Buttsexpirate 9

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:02

Man you always gotta brush your pearly whites so situations like this don't happen!!

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Friday 10 February 2012 13:12

It doesn't have to be a hygiene issue, there are cases of people losing baby teeth really late in life. When I was 15 I had to have my last 2 baby teeth removed.

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Friday 10 February 2012 13:31

How old is this kid?

WaterPoloLove3 0

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Friday 10 February 2012 15:38

I'm like, what are you, like 10??

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Friday 10 February 2012 19:52

Like yeah 63. I'm like, you say like a lot. That's like, annoying. Like, how old are you?? Like 10?

onlychildFTW 33

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Friday 10 February 2012 22:51

104 FTW!!! Agree BTW. To many likes and you'll get disliked.

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Saturday 11 February 2012 0:43

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meetrandom ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:02

sorry man, it sucks!!

22cute 17

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Saturday 11 February 2012 6:03

That's disgusting! Eeew

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Saturday 11 February 2012 10:19

why would you reply to my comment? put a comment for the original post -_-

saIty 17

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:03

The Rock better give you plentiful of cash for that tooth then.

saIty 17

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:11

*wow I'm blind. Please ignore this comment

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:03

Wow worst timing ever, sucks for you man, have better hygiene.

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Friday 10 February 2012 18:33

Twix are so good he couldn't help it

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Friday 10 February 2012 20:52

Damn isn't that the truth.

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:04

At least you didn't vomit

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Friday 10 February 2012 13:14

maybe she's into that

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:09

Only in fml .....

JayDeLaGhetto 7

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Friday 10 February 2012 19:08

Op must be Charlie Kelly

Mama_Umbridge 8

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:10

Well what did you expect her to do?

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Friday 10 February 2012 19:13

Nuthin to do with comment but nice name:)

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Monday 13 February 2012 6:18

Mama Umbridge gonna rip your perky little boobs off!

McDonaldsworker 4

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:12

Hey OP how old are you? I thought only old people and meth-heads had to worry about tooth loss!

Alleged_Cranium 7

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:33

You might be on the wrong end, maybe OP is only 7 years old.

McDonaldsworker 4

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Friday 10 February 2012 13:15

Hmm I didn't think about that lol

Bekll 31

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Friday 10 February 2012 20:39

You mean young people and meth heads.

Bekll 31

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Friday 10 February 2012 20:41

Come to think of it, elderly people can lose teeth too.

sealed_with_a_sm 2

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Saturday 11 February 2012 8:58

Maybe it was a temp. Crown, dentist did a bad job, or implants, though most implants should stay and not fall out... Could be any age... Everything happends for a reasons.. Sadly, most reason are sad :( lol

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Sunday 12 February 2012 15:08

Hey, you and #11 stop discriminating. The times they are a changin. Can't the op be old AND a meth head? Or 7 AND a meth head?

McDonaldsworker 4

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Monday 13 February 2012 10:43

Hey #73 I literally laughed out loud when I read your comment, lmao :)

McDonaldsworker 4

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Monday 13 February 2012 10:45

My bad all, I meant to say that to #173 It's raining outside here on my break and the rain on my phone screen is messing me up, sorry

AlbinoMoose987 14

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Tuesday 16 August 2016 8:04

He probably has a fake tooth that's on a retainer or something

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:12

I think her reaction to parts falling off into her mouth was acceptable. I'd have been concerned If it turned her on.

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Friday 10 February 2012 12:40

"You like that babe?" *pulls another tooth out.

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 71

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 284