Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
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Top comments
yeezheng 6
I bet your braces must have hurt your girlfriend. I feel sorry for her instead of you OP. A large chunk of pubes rip out is no joke.
maddy23a 5
Nice one ace
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Comments (416)
SociopathicSmurf 6
You and her have remarkable low standards. She is disgusting, and so are you for tolerating her. Firstly, going down on a female is disgusting, and unexceptable. Secondly, pubic hair is disgusting and unexceptable. She clearly does not make ANY effort into her physical appearences, and has no sense of hygene. She should be shot for being so utterly disgusting, and I hope she does.
Shrike 24
Learn to spell, you thick ****.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Okay, first of all, it's not unacceptable (and that's how it's spelled by the way) to give a woman oral sex. Many find it very enjoyable. Also, are you a guy? If so, you're probably a hypocrite that thinks it's not right to go down on a girl but it's perfectly fine to go down on a guy. Now, I'm not big on pubic hair either, but to say she deserves to be shot? Wow...people like you make me sad to live in today's society. With that being said, OP, if she has that much pubic hair, how did you not see it sticking out of her panties? And why did you try to take her panties off with your teeth if you were wearing braces? FYL & YDI
5t3ff1k4h 47
141 - Just because someone likes to perform or receive oral sex does not mean they have low standards. If you believe that you're awfully sheltered. Nothing about it is disgusting; it's normal for people to WANT to do it, and it's normal for people to NOT want to do it. It's unacceptable*, by the way. Pubic hair is natural; it's there for a reason. It's the person's choice to shave it or not to shave it; it's not up to you. If you don't like it, good for you. Find someone without it. Just because she doesn't shave doesn't mean she's unclean or unkempt. Some people prefer not to shave, others simply believe they shouldn't, and that's perfectly fine. Hair is not unhygienic. As long as it's washed daily, there is no issue. By your standards, you should be bald because hair is gross. Do you have hair? You're disgusting, you unclean freak!
Kittehx3 0
Oh, 'cause you're vegetarian... I get it.
Bacontree 14
Why so squeamish? Sex is dirty. Get used to it.
justbieber12 0
141: just because she has hair down there doesn't mean she is nasty or anything. Learn how to spell and maybe learn how to not be such an asshole. If it's so unacceptable for a guy to go down on a girl, then it should be the same for a girl to go down on a guy. But of course, thats not how you think of it, I'm sure...
Urbanchiller 0
shave and try again.
Tmoney20 3
Seriously?? It's 2011, if you don't shave your gross... Lol too much 80s bush!
5t3ff1k4h 47
True, it's 2011. But, it's not mandatory to shave. Times have changed and different things are in fashion now than in the '80s, but one thing hasn't changed - freedom to choose.
poreo101 8
that's gross and it must really suck
criss45 0
eww are you dating a gorilla? have her shave down there
arkid24 1
Always happens
cathop 0
If you have braces then you're obviously too young for sex.
5t3ff1k4h 47
You know people can get braces as adults, right?
tucansam555 3
That's her fault for having pubes -____- nasty bro that sucks
lifelessons22222 0
Ladies Take note
ifeelya 5
aw, it's okay, you guys are only in high school... you'll get better at romantic thing somehow.