Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
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Top comments
yeezheng 6
I bet your braces must have hurt your girlfriend. I feel sorry for her instead of you OP. A large chunk of pubes rip out is no joke.
maddy23a 5
Nice one ace
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Comments (416)
SammiBee123 0
Ew.
starsfan_9 7
Hindsight is always 20/20 I guess
every1luvsboners 11
Pubic hair = Free dental floss
SAMMILLER098 2
That's ******* gross
bizarre_ftw 22
Given 13's comment: thank you
QuaneZA 18
Always a positive side!
twaumat 28
oooooooo, that took a turn for the worse.
cbadhillbilly7 0
It's common sense to not do shit like that when you have braces...duh
graceejohn 4
What..are y'all like, 12 or something? Pubes and braces...mmmm
npnptracking 7
I'm pretty sure some adults have braces
ydi_4_suking 20
I'm pretty sure some adults have pubes too...
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm pretty sure YOU'RE 12, #21.
glittercookies 12
Nah, realistically they are probably 16. How long are her pubes and going down with braces?
bizarre_ftw 22
176 - I ALMOST missread your comment to mean that she must be 16 because how much longer is she going to keep her pubes?!! >.< Glance reading = f'ed up double takes
unknownfork 12
You sound like a redneck. "Y'all"
fthislyfe 22
EWWWWWWWWWW doesn't she shave?
onecrazybitch 0
I'm guessing no.
elliekathleen 0
Amen! That's disgusting.
RawrNom 0
7% of guys in Britain like girls with hair but tidy, 2% prefer girls all natural and the rest like a shaven haven.. still, plenty of guys like hair. it's kinda natural. since i like girls, I don't like hair but still, maybe he doesn't care? or she didn't think she'd be getting any and didn't bother to shave? anyway, poor OP, sucks that you got them in your braces but holy ****, I feel sorry for her if you ripped them out.
caitibug323 0
Well, having hair is normal.. Not sure why that's disgusting. Having pubes does not mean that it's not clean. Not to mention some girls like different styles, she could have the "landing strip". So don't assume silly things like having any kind of hair is disgusting. :)
lexxxijade 0
Wow. She shouldn't have to shave for her bf, if he really wants sex he should have to deal with it.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Only ***** shave
qwerty123455 3
Girls shouldn't have to shave it's natural nnd if a boy can't deal with it he shouldn't be havin sex!
TheChosenOne96 1
Amen!
squid93 9
Glad to see that you have hair and admit it! I love it when a woman tells the world that she doesnt shave her pubes all the time. Most men today like the pre-pubescent shaved look and I dont see why, I like my women natural with a bush! Love the feel of it when Im going down on her and the feel of it against my face as I lick her!
MyMoments 5
Ewww but why doesnt she just shave? She probably has to now since there's a huge chunk of hair missing. Lol sorry bout your braces though...hope ya got that out..
newthing96 0
hey
omgcookeys 15
She doesn't have to shave if she doesn't want to.
ikickgingers 15
I can see your boobs.
frokeyman92 9
Word x
bizarre_ftw 22
97 - 90% of the time I have to remind myself you're not a guy. I applaud you for that for I mean what I say in a good way.
bizarre_ftw 22
(sorry for the rhyming, the poetry unit in my creative writing class has my head screwed up! I'm even thinking in rhymes >.
Jesus_Christ69 0
Mm pubes... Kinky..
bizarre_ftw 22
Comment and picture combined scare me
Okayitwasme 0
That is priceless! This FML is the funniest I've heard in awhile. Should be In a movie, except when the screams of pain start someone walks in! Lol Ambulance is called and they shave it. OP stands up and all you see is muff in his mouth. Lol
GimmeFive 10
I pray you'll never be a movie director...