Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
yeezheng 6
I bet your braces must have hurt your girlfriend. I feel sorry for her instead of you OP. A large chunk of pubes rip out is no joke.
maddy23a 5
Nice one ace
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (416)
thegreat8 1
Uh...turnoff?
sneakymcpothead 0
Eww get her to wax or atleast shave that shit dude or I wouldnt have been going down there in the first place atleast a bikini trim like eww come on !!
jsh95 0
The reason it's gross because hair itches the guy down there when having sex which is annoying, and the texture ruins giving oral to a girl
jsh95 0
Yeah I just find it gross because it looks nasty, nothing sexy about hair being grown down there, it's natural but razors were made for a reason and that is to shave!
contedefees 11
138: the texture ruins giving oral to a girl? Hair? There is no hair on the clit. Unless you are licking the outside of the labia (which is... unusual), the presence of hair should not ruin oral sex. Length of hair on the other hand may get in the way. Hence keeping it trimmed and tidy. But waxing or shaving it all off is totally unnecessary and most women don't just get rid of all of it.
jsh95 0
Umm the texture on your nose and face is disgusting.
Bacontree 14
You are licking her most intimate body parts where she pees out of, menstruates out of and all other types of bodily fluids come out of. Yes, that idea is disgusting but you still do it (if not, your girlfriend is missing out). Pubic hair is only a drop in the bucket and, if washed regularly, not disgusting at all. But hey, your preferences don't need to be mine. Shaving is a hassle down there and it looks pedo, so you find a girl that likes bald and then girls who don't shave go find a guy that doesn't mind a little hair.
squid93 9
I find pubic hair on a woman sexy and a huge turn on. I love to feel it against my face as I lick her to ******! The more hair the better!!!
squid93 9
I dont think its gross, I think its sexy for a woman to have pubic hair. I have never had an issue with it during sex or giving her oral!
OMGpplarestupid 2
You think you're being romantic when you take someone panties off with your teeth? Thats quite sad...
ChristyBVB 8
She's taking "no shave November" to the next level....
jsh95 0
Your not suppose to shave pubes in no shave November. That's why I don't participate. I hate having hairy balls
clint1310 1
There is not supposed to be hair on it!
Bekll 31
If they're old enough to have sex then they're old enough to have pubic hair.
lilpixie21 11
Oh really of it wasn't supposed to be there why does it grow in the first place girls with no pubes show nothing womanly it's there to show that you've grown up and are ready as well as keep the smell it's like sweating you smell a lot worse without a shirt than you would with one
LeStab 4
Tell her to trim that shit!
smmiller1631 0
That's people shave...?
bizarre_ftw 22
That's not English...?
hateevryone 15
why did you do that knowing you have braces in your mouth?
HAT3BR33D 0
Jesus christ . She smuggling chewbacca in her panties ? Tell the bitch to do some maintenance ! As for you learn to walk before you try to run ! Someones gunna get hurt .
reedyii 1
What kind of wildebeest are you ******* that still has pubes?? Tell her to shave that shit!