Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML
Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML
Today, I tried to introduce myself to the stray cat outside my house. As it turns out, this cat is very friendly. He got up and started climbing on my shoulders like a parrot, sniffing me everywhere. Then I sneezed and he fell, scratching my back and neck very badly as he did so. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, after days of nasal congestion, I stifled a sneeze. It went out my nose, blowing out a massive spray of green gunk, streaked with blood. This happened at a meeting, splattering the table in front of me with green bloody mucus. The other attendees looked horrified and one ran to vomit. FML
Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML
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Top comments
stronghand0331 17
The best line is, "My cat was comforting me." I wish my cat comforted me like that. Selfish little jerk!
RedPillSucks 33
Did you throw up on the cat?
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Comments (101)
lexxiii 17
ewww! that's worse than milk coming out if your nose, haha!
angeluv_2014 22
Uh, yes, I beleive stomach acid would be worse than milk. Good one, Captain Obvious. :
Shiamah 0
oh...that really sucks. try perhaps spraying some ferbreeze on some fabric and sit close to that, it might help with the smell.
LouieLZ 5
That's the real good question, isn't it?
dynky 3
It'll be gone by tomorrow. There's nothing you can really do about it.
ulicksam 0
The cat wasn't comforting you. The cat wanted you to comfort it. It's not a dog.
BCrazzi 9
Cats will comfort you if ur hurt or sick smart one..
choirnerd1808 0
try a nettie pot you can get them just about any store with a pharmacy. it cleans your sinus cavaties. make sure you breath through your mouth or you will suck the water into your lungs.
Jkwild 0
ydi for having a cat. =)
BigEV 0
What a disgusting scene.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Did that after drinking Pepsi once. I still can't drink Pepsi without feeling nauseated. =
jvdubz 3
coffee beans work