Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML
Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML
Today, I tried to introduce myself to the stray cat outside my house. As it turns out, this cat is very friendly. He got up and started climbing on my shoulders like a parrot, sniffing me everywhere. Then I sneezed and he fell, scratching my back and neck very badly as he did so. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, after days of nasal congestion, I stifled a sneeze. It went out my nose, blowing out a massive spray of green gunk, streaked with blood. This happened at a meeting, splattering the table in front of me with green bloody mucus. The other attendees looked horrified and one ran to vomit. FML
Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML
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Top comments
stronghand0331 17
The best line is, "My cat was comforting me." I wish my cat comforted me like that. Selfish little jerk!
RedPillSucks 33
Did you throw up on the cat?
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Comments (101)
bv110 2
yet ;)
BAMF519 0
eww that is nasty you might want to try snorting some bleach!
aichd13 4
So what? I had a weak stomach lining as a kid. Threw up through my nose hundreds of times.
TheCube 6
I've puked through my nose before. I feel your pain... FYL
Kunoichi21 1
Did you try a huge whif of hand sanitizer? That usually works for me.
swinglifeaway123 8
AAAHHH!!!! Truly, I pity you
Partyman22 0
Haha did you hit the cat??
hayhay92 5
Try vics vapor rub
RockinRoyaltyxD 13
Man up. Whenever I vomit I throw up from my mouth and nose. Stop being a wimp.
BCrazzi 9
How do u throw up IN your nose??