I hope you used a condom

Cucumbers are much better in bed! ;)

Wtf x'D

Wow.

Plot twist, it's actually a guy

once you go bannana...

I can just imagine the peel tearing and the actual eating part OH LAWDY!

That's one way to make a banana split.

17- A woman has actually diddled herself with a cucumber and died because the sharp edges cut into her vaginal walls as she climaxed causing oxygen to rush in there.

Was the banana at least a good partner?

It wasn't, #34. Didn't even want the post-coitus cuddles!

But she could munch him immediately after they both finished

#38 that's just gross. Also, what did you mean by they both finished?

Didn't you hear #34? The banana split!

64 - You deserve more thumbs ups.

Are both finishing a strange idea to you, #47? That's unfortunate for your partner.

#86 No, what's strange to me is a banana finishing. As it is already the seed of the banana flower.

Nerd

Imbecile

What if op is into women, than that would be an entirely different story

Did you hear the one about the vegan who use a carrot? I heard that it was tüber painful

Buying toys can be awkward for some people... Besides, OP could be underage

I agree, actually. although, maybe op isn't old enough to buy sex toys, since you have to be 18.

Then why can't she buy them online?

if she's not 18, then she probably doesnt have a credit card to buy them online. and she also probably wouldnt want a package mailed to her house.

If OP isn't 18, there's still 'massagers' on sale at grocery stores or Walmart, and failing that, an electric toothbrush will do in a pinch.

Um that's what online stores are for!

# 85 hell yeah. see people BBT is not only funny is helpful and informative

she could always use her fingers...

And don't forget the toy cleaner ;) safer than using bananas.

First hand experience? Lol

First cucumber experience. She didn't use her hand.

I'd say no for cucumber. A girl in our dorm tried that and she must have been going at it really hard it broke inside her and had to go to the emergency room to get it taken out. I haven't been able to look at cucumbers the same since....

or instead of FOOD use an actuall toy.....its called an investment

Ew...some girl in our high school shoved a corn dog up herself....

there's also tales of women using various fruits/vegetables and cutting themselves internally on the implement and even a few resulting in death from air being forced into a blood vessel from pressure ...... in the (not so) words of Rocko Wallaby "Masturbation day is a very dangerous day."

My exact thought. Later in the day OP has a banana "hmm why's this taste so funny" and then comes the follow up FML.

I don't think she would have peeled it first ...

Damn, great comment but for the typo.

**Split,,, my bad,, that's what happen when you type fast & watch a good movie at the same time

What movie? I just watched The Call... Damn near scared myself to death! :8

season finale of BREAKING BAD,,I know it's a show,, best ever

*Sweats profusely* MUST. RESIST. URGE.

Their, their; it's going to be OK. :p

* their they're.

mine turn in to pickle ;-)