By Kyra.45 - 03/10/2013 22:46 - United States - Troy

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 173
You deserved it 32 483

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Umm, maybe walk that extra mile to get the proper toys you need op. I know I should but I don't feel any real sympathy for you. Maybe a little, but not a whole lot.


herotime 7

Plot twist, it's actually a guy

Gearden 8
Grmpman 7

I can just imagine the peel tearing and the actual eating part OH LAWDY!

NinjaMouse 8

That's one way to make a banana split.

Aero_x 21

17- A woman has actually diddled herself with a cucumber and died because the sharp edges cut into her vaginal walls as she climaxed causing oxygen to rush in there.

Ah, I'm sorry OP. I know how that is. Stay strong, be patient, and your man will come.

Was the banana at least a good partner?

AnOriginalName 19

It wasn't, #34. Didn't even want the post-coitus cuddles!

But she could munch him immediately after they both finished

Parkour_rocks 20

#38 that's just gross. Also, what did you mean by they both finished?

UnluckyGenius 21

Didn't you hear #34? The banana split!

Are both finishing a strange idea to you, #47? That's unfortunate for your partner.

Parkour_rocks 20

#86 No, what's strange to me is a banana finishing. As it is already the seed of the banana flower.

What if op is into women, than that would be an entirely different story

Umm, maybe walk that extra mile to get the proper toys you need op. I know I should but I don't feel any real sympathy for you. Maybe a little, but not a whole lot.

Did you hear the one about the vegan who use a carrot? I heard that it was tüber painful

tpm45 25

Buying toys can be awkward for some people... Besides, OP could be underage

ilytyvm 25

I agree, actually. although, maybe op isn't old enough to buy sex toys, since you have to be 18.

Then why can't she buy them online?

if she's not 18, then she probably doesnt have a credit card to buy them online. and she also probably wouldnt want a package mailed to her house.

If OP isn't 18, there's still 'massagers' on sale at grocery stores or Walmart, and failing that, an electric toothbrush will do in a pinch.

kyu_Q 19

# 85 hell yeah. see people BBT is not only funny is helpful and informative

she could always use her fingers...

And don't forget the toy cleaner ;) safer than using bananas.

I dunno what to say. Poor banana it poor you. Well keep looking. The right fruit is out there.

lazygirlWOW 9

Next time use a more rounded fruit/vegetable...maybe a cucumber? Haha

First cucumber experience. She didn't use her hand.

I'd say no for cucumber. A girl in our dorm tried that and she must have been going at it really hard it broke inside her and had to go to the emergency room to get it taken out. I haven't been able to look at cucumbers the same since....

Ch_rae5 19

or instead of FOOD use an actuall toy.....its called an investment

BrysGirl27 14

Ew...some girl in our high school shoved a corn dog up herself....

there's also tales of women using various fruits/vegetables and cutting themselves internally on the implement and even a few resulting in death from air being forced into a blood vessel from pressure ...... in the (not so) words of Rocko Wallaby "Masturbation day is a very dangerous day."

Squirrel1256 15

Just don't put that banana back in the kitchen when you're done with it.

My exact thought. Later in the day OP has a banana "hmm why's this taste so funny" and then comes the follow up FML.

I don't think she would have peeled it first ...

graceinsheepwear 33

You need to learn your way around the produce aisle. A banana?

Dodge4x4Ram 46

why ? did the banana spilt :-)

graceinsheepwear 33

Damn, great comment but for the typo.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

**Split,,, my bad,, that's what happen when you type fast & watch a good movie at the same time

What movie? I just watched The Call... Damn near scared myself to death! :8

Dodge4x4Ram 46

season finale of BREAKING BAD,,I know it's a show,, best ever

A cucumber is the way to go OP *Not that I would no anything about it*

WeAreAHurricane 14

*Sweats profusely* MUST. RESIST. URGE.

cantik20 5