Intimacy: Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob...

By potassiumgirl - 11/04/2012 19:53 - United States - Hollywood

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 079

You deserved it 38 941

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Same thing different taste

Work on your skills

By banana - 26/02/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 940

You deserved it 74 611

By Kyra.45 - 03/10/2013 22:46 - United States - Troy

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 207

You deserved it 32 530

Spit or Swallow?

By buymeflavoredlube - 05/06/2018 05:00

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 801

You deserved it 992

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 668

You deserved it 29 416

Seduction technique

By BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 807

You deserved it 6 816

By anonymous - 04/11/2014 12:03 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 281

You deserved it 8 514

Cool trick, mom

By fuck florida - 16/05/2014 19:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 476

You deserved it 5 999

No nut will do that

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 1 577

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 639

You deserved it 5 758

My love language is…

By BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 325

Tweekz14 5

Thursday 12 April 2012 1:53

So I'm guessing you swallow?

nofearjenshere 12

Thursday 12 April 2012 2:06

It's a sin not to swallow, there are people starving in Africa.

Comments

cookie_crumble89 11

Thursday 12 April 2012 1:54

You chocked on it?

suncifir 6

Thursday 12 April 2012 1:55

Chocked?

trollfaced 2

Thursday 12 April 2012 2:12

Yeah, chocked.

cookie_crumble89 11

Thursday 12 April 2012 3:41

I meant choked

micahsmommy 13

Thursday 12 April 2012 4:16

Chocked = A combination of '****' and 'choked'. No more need to say "I choked on his ****" you now can just say "I chocked". Coming to the Urban Dictionary in 2012.

kandi_kid69 15

Thursday 12 April 2012 4:54

More like inhaled it.

linkinpark98 23

Thursday 12 April 2012 1:56

This gave me a quite amusing visual in my head…

ravenxcorvinus 9

Thursday 12 April 2012 1:57

he complains???

coolstorybro6969 6

Thursday 12 April 2012 3:30

If its still there afterwards, wtf is he complaining about

Llama_Face89 33

Friday 13 April 2012 13:32

Only reason I can think of is OP uses teeth...otherwise her bf shouldn't have any reason to complain.

iloveweed69 7

Thursday 12 April 2012 1:57

Lollipops are better

trullululul 0

Thursday 12 April 2012 1:58

Now we know why you need practoce

ravenxcorvinus 9

Thursday 12 April 2012 2:01

#17: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&redir_esc=&client=ms-android-sprint-us&source=android-browser-type&v=133247963&qsubts=1334188843380&action=devloc&q=practoce&v=133247963